I nodded.
He rubbed a hand nervously across the back of his neck before glancing toward the kitchen. "Do you want tea, or food, or—"
"No."
The word came out soft, but he stopped immediately anyway. A silence settled between us. Ellis looked at me for another second before giving a faint, almost disbelieving smile.
"That's the first thing you've said to me in eleven months."
Guilt twisted painfully through me.
He swallowed before speaking again. "I kept thinking maybe if I waited long enough you would walk back through that door eventually." His eyes dropped briefly to the floor. "Which is pathetic, probably."
"I need..." My throat tightened around the words. "Closure."
The hope dimmed slowly, though it did not disappear completely.
"Okay," he said quietly.
Neither of us spoke for a while after that. My heartbeat thudded painfully against my ribs while every sentence I had practiced began unraveling apart the moment I needed it. I stared at my hands.
"I should've talked to you."
His expression shifted immediately.
"April—"
"I should've told you things," I continued before fear could close my throat entirely. "About my childhood. About why some things made me panic. About...everything."
Understanding moved slowly across his face. The way I shut down during sex. The way he mistook my withdrawal for indifference because I never gave him language for what was actually happening inside me.
"April," he said softly, "none of that was your fault."
"I know."
And strangely, I did know that now. "But I still should've trusted you enough to say it."
Ellis sat down heavily on the edge of the couch, leaning forward with his forearms against his knees like the weight of the conversation had finally settled onto him physically.
"I thought you stopped loving me," he admitted quietly. "I thought you were not really into me."
I looked down again, fingers tightening together painfully.
"I thought there was something wrong with me," I explained.
His face changed immediately.
"God, April."
"But there isn't." My pulse spiked violently even saying it aloud. Ellis closed his eyes briefly.
"I'm beautiful," I whispered, the words trembling despite my effort to steady them. "I'm attractive and I'm worth loving."
His expression crumpled with something so raw it almost made me look away.
"Yes," he said immediately. "You are. You always were."
For a second neither of us moved. Then Ellis stood slowly and crossed the space between us before stopping close enough that I could feel warmth radiating from him.
