So I shook my head gently. Ellis looked down immediately, emotion passing visibly across his face before he nodded once in acceptance.
"Okay," he whispered.
His eyes filled again despite his obvious effort to stop it. At the doorway I paused one final time before turning back toward him. Ellis stood in the middle of the living room looking completely unlike the man I had once left behind. He looked softer somehow and sadder.
"I do love you, April," he admitted quietly.
The words landed heavily between us, stripped of expectation now, carrying nothing except truth. My throat tightened painfully around my own answer.
"I did love you, Ellis." I replied.
He closed his eyes briefly at that, tears slipping free again despite himself, and I stood there for one last second feeling the full weight of what we had once been to each other before finally turning toward the door.
Then I pictured a broad-shouldered man with unruly curls waiting patiently for me without asking me to become smaller, quieter, easier, or less afraid in order to deserve staying, and with that image steady inside my chest, I finally walked away.
Chapter 29: The Map of April
By the time I reached Bramwell's house, the exhaustion had settled so deeply into my body that even holding myself upright felt difficult.
The drive there passed in fragments. Streetlights blurring across the windshield. My hands gripping the steering wheel too tightly. I sat in my car for a moment after parking, staring at the warm light glowing through Bramwell's living room windows. Part of me still felt strangely untethered after leaving Ellis's house.
Then the front door opened.
Bramwell stepped onto the porch wearing a dark sweater and socks instead of shoes. Concern crossed his face immediately when he saw me.
"You okay?"
I crossed the distance between us before I could overthink it and wrapped my arms around him. Bramwell went still for half a second in surprise before his arms came around me carefully.
"Hey," he murmured softly against my hair.
I tightened my hold on him slightly, pressing my face against his chest as the tension I had been carrying all evening slowly began to loosen. He didn't ask questions immediately. He just stood there holding me while the cool night air moved quietly around us.
Eventually, his hand slid gently up and down my back.
"Do you want to come inside?"
I nodded against him.
Bramwell guided me toward the couch, but before I could sit down, I reached for him again almost instinctively. I leanedcloser and kissed him. It wasn't graceful. I could feel hesitation threaded through me even then, old fear lingering stubbornly beneath my skin, but Bramwell responded immediately anyway, one hand settling carefully at my waist while the other brushed lightly against my jaw.
When we finally pulled apart, his forehead rested briefly against mine.
"April, what happened?" he said quietly.
My pulse stumbled at the tone of his voice alone. I swallowed hard.
"I went...to see Ellis."
Bramwell's hands remained steady against me. "Okay."
"He apologized. I also apologized," I answered.
Something unreadable flickered briefly across his expression before softening again.
"And how do you feel?"
The question should have been simple, but emotion tightened painfully in my throat.
