The doors close behind her, and I metaphorically pat myself on the back. She swam and I sat and watched. I didn’t follow her down the hallway when she left. It’s not much, but it’s better than yesterday, so I’m going to call it progress.
I look down at my phone, then at the honeycomb on my forearm, studying the design as I think about all the times Honey has worried she’s going to get lost in who I am.
Meanwhile, I’m wearing honeybee shorts and have inked her in more than one place, trying to prove that I’ve already lost myself in her, like that somehow fixes the fact she’s scared of doing the same.
That’s my problem. I've been running the same play since the beginning and expecting a different outcome.
Come here. Be mine. Choose this.
And every time I do, she looks at me like I’m asking her to disappear.
I scrub a hand over my jaw, staring down at the ink on my arm like it might spell out something different this time. It doesn’t. It’s still her. It’s always been her. That hasn’t changed.
What has—and I’ve been too stubborn to admit—is that loving her like this...isn’t working.
Not for her, and maybe not for me either.
I lean back and let out a long sigh as realization settles in.
She doesn’t need more of me.
She needs less.
The thought sits with me as I stare out over the deck, my grip tightening slightly around my phone. Every cell in my body tries to push against it and close the distance before it turns into something permanent.
I loosen my grip, and although I stare at the door, for the first time, I don’t move.
Chat: Let's get Honey and Zach Back! ??
Madison:Bet you twenty she doesn't jump.
Tiff:I bet you thirty she does. She's grown so much in the last two years. I really think this is her time to shine.
Madison:How did all that growth work out for her at the wedding?
Reese:Not entirely her fault. Zach was on a mission, and as his teammate, I can confirm, he doesn't let shit go.
Madison:We all know this. That's why he's on this cruise in the first place.
Tiff:What do you think @Jamie? you know her best.
Olivia:I resent that. He was just a dude she was forced to hang around with until she left high school. She chose me at six.
Jamie:No comment. Do you remember the last time I made a bet involving her?
Madison:Wait, is that what Zach was referring to in the best man's speech? I need details! Who's going to spill?
Tiff:No, you don't, Mads. What's done is done.
Mike:I bet you fifty she didn't even get on the bus, and we're all wasting our time on this chat.
Olivia:Well, you've already lost that one, babe. I got an email confirming my booking yesterday, and she sent me a text to let me know she was going to do the canopy walking tour today. I guarantee she's on that bus.
Madison:So I'll take that fifty in the form of pizza slices when I see you next, Mike.
Mike:Sounds like a deal considering I might never see you again.
Madison:??Are you kidding me? I will see you at Honey and Zach's wedding.
