He left.
My knees give out, and my world feels like it’s caving in.
“No. No. No. No,” I cry, pulling my legs into me and rocking.
He said he was going to leave, but after last night and everything that happened, I just—I guess I thought he’d stay.
Instead, he just had sex with me and left.
Did he finally realize how much I’d ruin him?
The thought sits at the back of my mind, my vision blurring as I look up into the room.
That’s when I see it.
There’s a cream-colored envelope on the nightstand with my name written across the front in Zach’s terrible handwriting.
And next to it—
Oh no.
A familiar, small, blue velvet box.
I pull myself up off the ground and make my way over to the table. My knees knock, my hands are shaking and as I pick up the envelope and prepare myself for whatever’s inside.
I sit on the edge of the bed and carefully open the envelope to find two pages of ship notepad paper, covered front and back in Zach's messy handwriting. Words are crossed out and rewritten with entire sentences scratched through and started over.
I don’t want to read it, but I feel like I have to at this point, so I take a shaky breath and start.
Honeycomb,
You’re going to be pissed I didn’t wake you up.
I thought about it countless times. I tried to convince myself that I’d have the restraint to wake you up and say goodbye so I could leave properly.
But then I remembered that I’m Zach Evans.
And you’re my Honeycomb.
I couldn’t risk it, so I’m sorry I didn’t. You have every right to be angry with me, but if I stayed, I’d just keep doing what I’ve been doing the whole time.
Showing up. Refusing to leave. Giving you no space to figure out what you actually want because I’m always right there, making it harder.
I get it now.
I get why you need to find yourself without me first.
You deserve that. You deserve to finish this cruise alone and figure out what comes next for you and only you.
That’s why I’m finally doing what everyone who loves you has been trying to tell me to do since the beginning.
I’m getting out of your way.
Just remember, you did the zip line, Honeycomb. You're going to be fine whatever you do.
I love you. I’ve loved you since the first day I spoke to you, and there hasn’t been a single morning since I met you that you weren’t my first thought.
Go find yourself Hunniford Sanderson, and once you have, come find me.
