They both said things like,What?AndWhy?AndWe didn’t mean anything!And (this was the most infuriating one, the one that set her teeth on edge):Stop being so sensitive!
“Are you mad at us?” Caitlin was pleading now. Good. Let her. “Alexa, please don’t be mad at us? We didn’t do anything?” She looked at Destiny for confirmation.
“Big surprise,” said Destiny. “Alexa’s leaving.”
Alexa turned around slowly. “Big surprise?” she repeated. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You leave everything, if you even show up in the first place. You’re, like, totally disengaged. And it’s not just around us. Tyler told me the same thing.”
“I’m sorry,” said Alexa. “Tylertold you the same thing?” Problem number one with this story was that Tyler was unlikely to use a word likedisengaged.Problem number two: why wasTylertalking toDestinyaboutAlexa?
“Yeah.” Caitlin looked like she used to in middle school, when she had an overbite and zits along her hairline, before she had a big glow-up and learned how to dress to flatter her skinny legs. “He talks to me sometimes too, you know. He’s allowed to have other friends.”
“I know he’s allowed to have other friends!” Alexa snapped. “Caitlin, obviously I know that.” She wasn’tthatkind of girlfriend. Tyler could have all the friends he wanted. But she didn’t think he should talk toherfriendsabout herbehind her back. That felt sneaky and mean.
“He worries about you, Alexa. That’s all. Because he cares. But he said you can be prickly sometimes.” That was Destiny.
Alexa let out a short, derisive laugh. She faced Destiny and spat, “Now you’re both turning on me? Now I’mprickly?”
She and Destiny and Caitlin had existed as a threesome since Destiny moved to town in fourth grade, with a trace of Southern accent lingering from her early Tennessee years. Three had never been a crowd with them. But now Alexa felt like the loneliest person in the entire universe: lonelier than a hermit living in Siberia. She was a third wheel here, and if she went home she’d be a third wheel there too.
“I’m going home,” she said anyway.
“Don’t be mad?” said Caitlin. “I’m sorry for what I said?”
Alexa’s head was aching and her heart was aching. “I’m not mad,” she said. “I’m tired. And I forgot I have to get up early tomorrow.”
Two truths, one lie.
Now Alexa heard someone saying her name, and she looked up. It was Cam Hartwell, smiling that giant, goofy smile. She felt herself flush. She remembered the cup of tea he’d put by her bed. Something about this memory made her feel happier than she had in a while.
Next to Cam was a reddish golden retriever attached to a navy blue leash. “This is Sammy,” he said. “You didn’t meet him the other day because he was at the lake with my parents.” Sammy looked like a dog in an L.L.Bean advertisement. He was sporting a navy blue bandanna to match the leash and a collar with anchors on it. Very nautical. Sammy licked Alexa’s hand and then did a thing where he pulled back his gums and really looked like he was smiling. It was hard not to smile back.
“What are you up to?” asked Cam.
“Headed up to Portsmouth a little while later,” Alexa said.
Cam nodded. “Good day for Portsmouth.” Sammy let out a little whine and started to pull at the leash and Cam said, “Sorry, boy, we’re going now. We really are.” To Alexa he said, “Duty calls! But I’ll be in touch soon.”
Who was he, Alexa wondered, to be so confident that shewantedhim to be in touch? She remembered the kiss in his driveway. He had definitely kissed her back.
Alexa Thornhill, will you rate your experience with Cam Hartwell?
She’d give him a four and three-quarters out of five.Could be a little less earnest,she’d put in the comments. Then she pictured Cam reading that and becoming sad. He’d say something like,I’m not that earnest, am I?He would say that very earnestly, of course.
Alexa Thornhill, how likely would you be to see Cam Hartwell again? On a scale of one to ten, one being not at all likely and ten being very likely.
She brought her cup back inside and placed it carefully in the dish bin, noticing as she saw her reflection in the glass that she was grinning. Yeah, okay, sure, she’d go see Caitlin up in Portsmouth. She could feel herself getting nicer by the minute. Must be the Cam Effect.
20.
The Squad
We were not obsessed with Alexa Thornhill, if that’s what you’re thinking. We were grown women, with husbands and children and jobs, some full-time, some part-time, and many, many appointments. It would have been unseemly to take an interest in a seventeen-year-old.
But when we found out that Alexa posted videos on YouTube of course we took a quick look. We’re not sure what we were expecting. Something salacious, maybe. Alexa Thornhill is a very pretty girl. We’ve always wondered about her biological father because Alexa and Rebecca do not look that much alike. The hair, maybe. Not that Rebecca isn’t pretty enough. But Alexa is drop-dead: another league.
We were hoping for information that would give us a little something to talk about on the beach, or on our early morning walks, which some of us took three days a week, rain or shine.
