“Nearly eight years. I knew he was selfish and immaturefrom the jump. I didn’t like it, but tried to tell myself his good qualities outweighed the bad. He was a hard worker, he was nice to my friends, he treated me well. Then I had Lydia and everything changed.”
“You had to grow up and he didn’t.”
She looked at him with a startled expression, as if she hadn’t expected that kind of perceptiveness. “Exactly. He still wanted to go on like he always had, partying on the weekends, planning trips together without considering what we would do with Lydia, spending money we didn’t have. I started to feel more like his mother than his wife. And I started treating him that way, unfortunately.”
“I hope you don’t blame yourself for the breakdown of your marriage. Your ex sounds like a real man-child.”
“We were both at fault. It would be only too easy to throw all the blame on Troy. He’s the one who cheated, after all. But I wasn’t a very good partner to him, either, toward the end. I’m not sure if I even liked him by that point, let alone loved him.”
“Sounds like he didn’t make it easy.” He had zero respect for any man who could pursue his own selfish desires, even knowing the devastation his actions would cause those he had vowed to honor and protect.
“No. He didn’t. Regardless, he will always be Lydia’s dad and I have to maintain a good relationship with him and his family, for her sake if nothing else.”
“That must be tough.”
“It’s not the life I had envisioned when I was a girl with my head stuffed full of dreams. But I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
She smiled at him with no trace of bitterness or regret, cheeks flushed from the cold. He suddenly had a wild urge to stop what he was doing, step closer to her and kiss her, right here in the winter sunlight.
The impulse both shocked and unnerved him.
“So what about you, Lieutenant Commander Caldwell,” she said, heedless of his inappropriate thoughts. “What’s your story?”
He tried to rein in the impulse to focus on the job at hand. His instinct was to make some kind of flip remark, but Holly had revealed truths about herself that must have taken courage to share. He couldn’t simply ignore her question.
“Not much to tell, really. And probably very little that you don’t already know from Kim. She and I were military brats. Our dad was a pilot in the air force and we lived all over the world. The Philippines, Germany, Korea.”
“And now you’re also a helicopter pilot, carrying on that tradition.”
He frowned. “My dad flew fighter jets in the air force. I’m a navy helicopter pilot. Totally different worlds.”
She rolled her eyes. “Not to us civilians. Sorry. If you weren’t following in your father’s footsteps, what made you decide to become a naval pilot?”
He shrugged. “I really love flying. I always have. Maybe some of that came from growing up on bases around the world and being surrounded by aircraft but I think I would have loved it anyway. It’s part of who I am. Does that sound weird?”
“Not at all. My sister, Hannah, knew she wanted to be a music therapist from the first time she ever met one, when we both had our tonsils out in Boise when we were nine. I always envied her for knowing what she wanted out of life.”
“I got my pilot’s license when I was sixteen and have been flying ever since.”
“You didn’t want to fly jets in the air force?”
“That was my dad’s thing. Not mine. Icanfly an airplane and I was a candidate to fly Tomcats. Those are navy fighterjets. But I decided I prefer helicopters. They’re the Swiss Army knives of the sky.”
“The Swiss Army knives?”
“Right. Fighter pilots have one job. We have dozens. Search and rescue, special ops support, cargo transport, medical evac. You name it.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
“Besides, helicopter pilots are sexier. Fighter pilots think they’re the coolest because they go fast and high but helicopter pilots know it takes skill to hover in one place. It’s not how fast you get there, it’s about how smoothly you make it to your destination.”
Her quick flash of a smile became a full-on laugh and Ryan could only stare at her.
He had thought her pretty during the previous interactions. But right now, with her nose pink from the cold and her eyes bright with laughter, she was stunning.
The desire that rose in him took him completely by surprise.
He wanted to pull off her beanie and dig his hands in her hair, to pull her body against his, to lean down and cover her laugh with his mouth so he could savor all her sweetness and warmth.
