He tightened his hold, letting his hand glide soothingly along her back, wishing he could take away her pain and make her believe everything would be okay.
“I think you’re an incredible mom, Holly,” he murmured, his voice low and meant only for her. “Lydia knows how much you love her. A few hours won’t change that.”
He felt her lean into him a little more, as if drawing strength from his words.
If he could, he would try to shield her from every heartache, every struggle. For now, all he could do was hold herand hope she felt how much he cared, how deeply he wanted to be there for both her and Lydia.
It wasn’t his job, he reminded himself.
“You’re right,” she answered. “I know you’re right. It’s just that for the past two years—longer, even—I’ve done virtually everything for her alone. Even when we were together, Ryan wasn’t exactly an involved father. Not like he seems to be with Hudson.”
Ah. He had suspected that might be part of her frustration with her ex.
“I was the one taking Lydia to Boise for her specialist appointments, who handled all the early-intervention therapies and attended all the advocacy training. Since she entered the school system, I have done all the school individualized education plans, the consultations with her teacher and aides, the school runs. I arrange my schedule to take her to speech therapy, to occupational therapy, to recreation therapy, to play groups. I stay up with her when she’s sick. I make sure she’s eating a healthy diet. I sit and practice letters and math with her, even on nights when I’m exhausted from working a long day.”
“You’re a wonderful mother, Holly. Everyone would agree.”
“Now her father, the same one who walked out on her, wants to swoop in and steal all the fun moments with her. Sledding with her, dancing at a wedding, Christmas morning.”
He could feel the frustration seething beneath her skin.
“It’s not fair,” he agreed.
“Fairis a word you have to throw out of your vocabulary when you have a child with special needs. Life will never be fair. It’s only a patchwork of moments—some heavy with struggle, others bright with joy—and the strength you find to keep stitching them together.”
She stopped as the music changed to another slow song, one about second chances and new beginnings.
“I’m sorry. I’m getting carried away, as usual. Let’s not talk about Troy or Lydia or Christmas Eve. Let’s just dance for a few moments.”
Sensing that was the only way he could help her for now, he pulled her closer.
As the song came to an end, Holly lifted her head from his shoulder and gazed up at him, her eyes glistening with a vulnerability that hit him square in the chest.
In that moment, Ryan recognized the truth. He was falling in love with her.
It was a quiet but undeniable realization, one that made his pulse quicken and his heart ache at the same time.
She was everything he hadn’t known he was searching for. Strong, compassionate and resilient in ways that humbled him.
How could he offer her anything? He wasn’t the kind of man she needed.
What a mess. How would he possibly be able to extricate her and her adorable daughter from his heart when this magical, unforgettable holiday season was over and the cold, hard reality of January cycled back around?
“Thank you,” she murmured.
“For the dance? It was my pleasure,” he said, with complete sincerity.
“For everything. Standing by me today. Helping me at the store this week. All of it. Your sister was exactly right. You’re a hero, Ryan.”
While her words touched him, he also felt a twinge of unease. He really hoped she didn’t fall for him. She deserved stability, someone who could stand beside her without hesitation or compromise.
He couldn’t be that man and he would hate for her to end up with a broken heart.
AN HOUR BEFOREthe wedding reception was due to end, Holly decided Lydia had reached her limit. She was increasingly cranky and had rubbed her eyes at least three times in the past five minutes, a sure indication that she was tired.
“I don’t want to,” Lydia whined when Holly suggested they should start heading home. “I want to stay with my cousins.”
“It’s been a wonderful day, hasn’t it?” Holly said gently. “It’s always hard to see a fun day end.”
