“You should spend the night at Mom and Dad’s,” Hannah suggested. “I’ll stay there, too. I had planned to stay at my place but screw that. We’ll have a slumber party on Christmas Eve and stay up all night, like we used to. Maybe Ash and Micah will want to stay, too.”
“That sounds fun but I’m not sure I would be very good company. I was planning to have dinner at Mom and Dad’s and then go home.”
“I am not going to let you sit alone in your house feelingsorry for yourself,” Hannah announced. “If you don’t want to stay with the whole family, I’ll stay with you at Rose Cottage. End of discussion.”
Holly was so very lucky in her family. She knew without question they all loved and supported her. Unlike Ryan, who had lost his mother young and had been shut out by his grieving father. She hated even thinking about how lonely that boy must have been.
She had to stop thinking about him. Right now, her bigger concern needed to be her daughter and how she would make it through Christmas Eve without her.
“THANKS SO MUCHfor this.”
Troy beamed at her as he slid the large box filled with most of Lydia’s Christmas gifts into the cargo area of his SUV.
It was taking every ounce of willpower she possessed not to grab her daughter, run back into Rose Cottage and lock all the doors and windows to keep him out.
She forced a smile. “You’re welcome.”
“I’ve got to tell you, Brittany is over the moon to have both kids for Christmas.”
“I’m glad.”
Brittany really was trying hard to make Lydia feel part of their family, something Holly could only be grateful for. The alternative would be much worse.
“Next year she can have Christmas Eve with you, for sure. And maybe the year after that, she can come spend a week or so of her holidays with us in Portland.”
She would have to brace herself for the time when Troy might want Lydia to spend weeks at a time—or even months, during summer breaks—with him.
Why borrow worry? That was a problem for Future Holly todeal with. Right now, Today Holly only had to make it through one night without her daughter. She could handle that much, couldn’t she?
“I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. Your family party will be tonight, right?”
He nodded. “Kris and Matt are in Hawaii on their honeymoon but everyone else will be there. Stacy and Paul and their kids. A few of the aunts and other extended family members who are still in town from the wedding. Dad is smoking a couple of turkeys. Should be fun.”
“It sounds lovely.”
She tried to smile, though something in her tone must have alerted him that she was still struggling with their arrangement.
“I’m sure you could join us if you want,” he said after a moment. “You know my family loves you. If you want the truth, I sometimes think they love you more than they love me.”
“You know that’s not true,” she said, though she felt a small, petty satisfaction at his disgruntled tone.
“Well, they would welcome you with open arms for Christmas if you want to join us.”
She could imagine few things she would enjoy less than Christmas Eve with her ex-husband’s family, where she would definitely be out of place.
“I’ll be fine,” she assured him. “I’m having dinner with my folks. Hannah wants us all to have a slumber party there.”
“You should. That sounds fun.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t made up my mind yet. Whatever I decide to do, I’ll be back here tomorrow when you bring her back”
“Okay. I’ll be in touch with an ETA.”
She nodded, then opened the rear door to smile at Lydia, who was strapped into her booster seat, playing with one ofher stuffed toys she insisted on bringing along. She vibrated with excitement, though whether that was the usual anticipation of Christmas Eve or from the prospect of staying overnight with her father and stepmother and grandparents, Holly didn’t know.
Her heart felt tight and achy. “Goodbye, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
Lydia beamed at her, then her brow furrowed. “And Santa will know where I am, right?”
