“Do it,” he grunted, his eyes wide and desperate as I pounded down into him. It had been a long time since I’d seen him so intense and focused; nowhere was the Reggie whose mind was bouncing all over the place as he worked hard or solved a problem. No, this one was locked onto me, and he demanded I give him what he wanted.
So I did.
With a desperate pant, I buried myself as deep as possible and gave a cry as my orgasm exploded within me and then out. My hips snapped, and I buried myself again and again as I poured into him, filling him with my cock and my cum. A growl rumbled out of me, and although it pained me to do it, I pulled out, making a mess as my cum leaked and splashed onto the bed.
I was on a mission and I bent down, gripping the base of his cock and shoving as much of it as I could into my mouth and down my throat. While I had intended for more than that, Reggie gave a cry and suddenly his hands were on either side of my neck, his hips pulling back and thrusting up again. He fucked my mouth for half a dozen pumps before he gave a desperate,almost breathless cry and for the second time, cum filled my mouth as he came hard, my name spilling from his lips finally.
It was as reverent and desperate as I had dreamed.
His fingers loosened their hold on my head, and he slumped back onto the bed, his head bouncing before settling as he gave a grunt of what I thought might be appreciation. I pulled back, wiping my lips and swallowing the last of his load while I watched some of mine trickle onto the bedspread. I looked him over, that same primal, savage voice from before returning, but this time in satisfaction as I gazed down on a man who looked thoroughly and well fucked…by me no less.
“So,” I grunted as I spread out on the bed next to him, watching his face. “Did my dick go from amazing to perfect?”
“Mmm,” he hummed, and though I shouldn’t have been surprised, he rolled onto his side and nuzzled his head on the underside of my chin. “Close, so very close.”
“Damn, I know I didn’t last half as long as I would have liked, but I thought I got some good work in,” I said, not sure if I was offended or not.
“Oh no, that’s not the problem.”
“Then what is?”
“Well, it was only once! In order to prove something, you have to consistently achieve the same results.”
“You’re…bringing scientific methodology into this?”
“Absolutely. In order to make sure your cock is in fact perfect, I need to test it several times.”
“And that’s absolutely not a flimsy excuse to have sex with me again?”
“Hmm,” he hummed again, tipping his face back and kissing the underside of my chin. “Do I need a more substantial reason?”
“No,” I admitted quickly. “But if you have a couple of them on hand, I’d be glad to hear them.”
“I love how you normally don’t have an ego, but the moment your clothes come off, you want it stroked,” he chuckled and then pressed his face into my neck, breathing deep as if there was some scent he wanted all over his face. “Among other things, you want stroked.”
I snorted. “Sometimes. Sometimes not.”
“I’d be glad to hear what makes the difference, but for now,” he said in a soft voice that, despite having just come down my throat, still sounded aroused. “I think my most substantial reason for ending up back in your bed or…whatever surface you want, is because this was good, this was great, this was amazing in fact. I like doing this with you, and I want to feel more of it…and to test the theory, of course.”
It was a lovely thought and a flattering one. It was also the perfect opportunity for me to address what we were doing. Well, not the sex part. We were more than aware of what we were doing when it came to sex; that much was obvious.
Except…what did I say? I could drum up a business plan in ten minutes and sell it to a board, but when it came to emotions and what was going on in my head? That was a lot trickier. There were so many things to wonder about, to think about, to feel. Guilt because I had never told him about Malcolm and me, despite the fact that we had just had sex. Shame that I wasn’t sure what I felt for him other than sexual attraction. Frustration because I didn’t know what he wanted, or if I found out, whether I was the right person to give it to him.
It felt like going back in time, slipping back is how I thought Reggie had put it. Except that instead of seeing a younger version of my son, I was back to when I had realized how badly my marriage was falling apart. Just like so many times before, I had watched as I had stood around, helpless and useless. Perhaps I could have done something, changed something, if Ihad just been able to find the strength or…somethingto speak up.
Maybe that’s all it would have taken to turn to Charlene and tell her. “Look, I know I’m difficult to understand, and I can seem so cold when all you want is warmth. I know I don’t open up like I should, but I’m scared. I’m scared of what it means to open up, just like I’m scared to tell you that deep down in my bones I think you’ve been finding that warmth somewhere other than here. I don’t know how to fix this, and I don’t even know if you want to anymore, but I want to try. I want to do better.”
But I hadn’t done that. The words might have been there at some time, too late probably, but I had never said them. I had sat back and waited, letting her do what she wanted, while I was a passive player. I had never confronted her; she had admitted to me what she had been doing, and I had been the one to react, to turn and leave the marriage because it had been dead for months by then.
And now I was doing it again. The words might be there; I might find them, but even the few words I had couldn’t find their way to my lips.
I blinked when I felt a kiss on the tip of my nose, and suddenly I was in my room again, staring at Reggie, and I could see how soft his face was, save for his brow, which was furrowed. “Hey.”
“Sorry,” I said with a chuckle, letting my thoughts drift back to the present. “Got a little lost in thought there, I suppose.”
“I saw that,” he said softly, running a hand gently over my chest. “Should I offer a penny or two?”
“No,” I said, catching his hand and squeezing it gently. The worst part was that I wanted to tell him, to tell himsomething, but the words never reached my lips. “I’m back. I’m here with you.”
