She glanced at me and then at Reggie, her lips thinning. “Come get a coffee with me, Jude.”
“Mom, I?—”
“Jude,” she said with a meaningful stare.
It was his turn to look between Reggie and me before grimacing. “Right, yeah, of course. Dad, I?—”
“I know,” I said, squeezing his hand. “There’s time.”
“And Reggie?—”
“You heard your dad,” he told Jude. “Don’t start with me either. I’d do it again, even if the result was worse. Got it? Now get going.”
He looked so much like a little boy as he walked away, unsure of himself but listening. I thought Charlene was going to walkoff, but she looked at Reggie and then me before sighing. “Don’t screw this one up, Marc. And Reggie? Good luck, there’s a damn fine partner in this one. I hope you have a better time finding out. Someone should.”
Reggie waited until she left before snorting. “I think that is the nicest I’ve ever seen her be.”
“She can be nice,” I told him softly. And gentle, sweet, and needy when there was space for it, when she felt safe.
“It’s a yes, by the way,” Reggie said, threading his fingers through mine and scooting closer so he could sit next to where my head was. “I tried telling you that, but you were kind of…well, you were really loopy. Kept muttering to yourself and then just…wake up and say the most random shit. I figured I should probably wait until you were a little more, you know…aware.”
“Not a bad call,” I said with a chuckle.
“Even after they drugged you up, you were muttering,” he said with a smile. “Glad to see you’re awake and not loopy.”
“I dreamed about Malcolm,” I told him softly.
His eyes softened further. “Oh, yeah, how was he?”
“Oh, you know, bossy, sarcastic, gave me shitandadvice. Kept laughing at me, basically.”
“So…he was Malcolm,” Reggie said with a laugh.
“He also told me he loved us both, and was glad the two men he’d loved the most in life had found each other and then some. So, you know, typical wish fulfillment, drug-fueled dream.”
“Maybe,” he said, resting a hand on the side of my head. “Maybe not. I’ve never swung one way or the other about that sort of thing, but maybe a little of that Arete magic was still with you, and found him for you.”
I groaned. “Not the magic again.”
He chuckled, leaning forward and kissing my cheek. “I am who I am, Marc.”
“That you are,” I said with a smile. “It’s my favorite thing about you.”
“Well, that’s good,” he said with a cock of his head. “Because you’re definitely my favorite person.”
“Well, that’s good…and I meant what I said…out there. I want all those things with you, the potential for something…I mean, different, more? But I can only promise to try; I can’t promise I will. I won’t make that promise to you; it wouldn’t be fair.”
“I wouldn’t accept it anyway,” he said, leaning his head on my chest and smiling. “But I believe with all my heart that you want to try, and I’ll be right there to help you stay on track. But I’m not worried about it; I have faith in us. And even if it doesn’t work, we’ll find a way to still be okay with each other.”
“I don’t want us to be just ‘okay’ with each other,” I insisted.
“Hey,” he said, tilting his face up. His smile was tired, but so beautiful. “Just…be present with me. Just be here. That’s all I need…allweneed.”
“Okay,” I said after heaving a breath and getting lost in his smile and the glimmer in his eyes that might have been love, or it might be the tears from the heavy yawn he gave while I watched him. Either way, I nodded. “Okay.”
I would just be…present.
EPILOGUE
