But if I thought the music was loud during dinner, it wasnothingcompared to later on.
“All right, Class of 2013, who’s ready to kick off your Junior/Senior Prom?” called the DJ, and the room erupted into woos and cheers. “Let’s get ready topartayyyyy!”
Some upbeat pop song began to thump through the speakers, and Courtney grabbed Cole by the arm. “Come and dance with me!”
As the tables around us emptied, Hannah raised her eyebrows and shrugged. “Should we at least give it a try?”
I blanched. “I havenoidea how to dance —”
“Come on, I’ll help you —” She held out her hand, and I took it, letting her lead me out onto the floor.
I tried. I really fucking tried. But it was hot and crowded and sweaty, and dark except for the strobes and colored lights playing across my face to the beat of the music. Everybody else seemed to know what they were doing, which didn’t make it any easier. I tried my best to play along, to match how they were moving, to follow Hannah when she put her hands on my hips to guide me. It didn’t help that Cole was perfect — gracefuland sexy, laughing whenever he caught my eye. My face burned with shame, my limbs heavy, my mind floating, as if I wasn’t there, as if I were watching myself from another room, from behind soundproof glass.
By the third song, I was hopelessly lost, and Hannah pulled me down to shout in my ear.
“This really isn’t your scene—”
“No it isnot—” I shouted back, and I wanted to crawl into a hole.
“Come with me —” She led me out of the crowd and back to our table, which was thankfully a bit away from the speakers. “Is it any better if we sit down?”
“Yeah, a lot better,” I admitted. “But don’t you want to dance? You shouldn’t have to sit here with me.”
“Look, Ezra —” She scooted her chair much closer to mine, so that we could put our heads together and hear each other over the din. “I didn’t come here tonight because I wanted to shake my ass to dumb Top 40 songs that I don’t even like. I came because I think you’re interesting and I thought it would be fun to hang out with you.”
“Really?” I would probably have to go look for my eyebrows later, because I was pretty sure they’d shot right off my head.
“Of course!” she said brightly. “Why do you think I’m always trying to get your attention? I’ve always liked talking to you.”
So we stayed at the table, and we talked. Aboutschool and books and growing up in our tiny town. About the storm and my mom and college. About the kids we’d grown up with, and about Cole — but none of the important stuff, none of the things about him that turned my insides to jelly whenever I thought about them. We talked as the DJ played on, and we talked as our friends stopped at the table for a glass of water or a rest before heading out to dance some more. Cole was a little odd when he came by to drop off his tux jacket, eyeing us up and down. But he put his hand on my shoulder when no one was looking, and I leaned my head back against him, just a graze of my curls across his belly through his shirt to let him know I was his. And later on, as I was watching him dance with Courtney, back to front in the center of the dance floor, Hannah leaned her head towards mine.
“Do you think he likes her? Reallylikesher, I mean.”
I shrugged, noncommittal. “It’s hard to tell. You never really know what he’s thinking.”
Hannah sighed. “I hope he does, because she’s had her heart set on him since the moment he showed up at school last fall.”
A knot of something I didn’t like settled in my gut.
A little while later, when the opening notes of the night’s first slow song played across the speakers, Hannah took my hand. “I think we can manage this one? And we should probably dance at our prom at least alittlebit.”
“Yeah, that’s fair.”
I followed her out into the middle of the room, and it wasn’t so bad, letting her drape her arms around my neck, my hands holding her waist. Even I knew the song, because it had been playing everywhere, and there was something comforting about listening to the lyrics, all about being brave enough to find a love that would last forever. Across the floor, Courtney had her eyes shut tight, and she almost looked like she was floating. But Cole was looking at me, and if I concentrated, I could imagine that he was holding me instead, that these words were for the two of us, that the rest of it was some crazy joke. And he must have read my thoughts, because he smiled, and I knew it was for me.
As the final notes played, Hannah put her lips to my ear. “Thank you.”
I was about to say something back, something friendly and kind. But then Courtney lifted her head, looked into Cole’s eyes, and kissed him.
And he didn’t pull away.
Not until the people around him began to catcall, and his eyes met mine, wide with shock.
“Um—” I looked down at Hannah. “I think I’m going to go outside for a minute. It’s, uh, warm in here. Loud. I just need a little break.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” Hannah asked.
“No, uh —” I waved vaguely at the dance floor. “Girls dance with each other, right? This is a good song. Just — I dunno. Dance with your friends, maybe?”
