When Cole returns about fifteen minutes later, he stops in front of me, holding out a Styrofoam container. I take it, frowning.
“What’s this?”
“Chicken fingers and fries,” Cole explains, sitting down once more. “I figured you might be hungry, and it was the only thing in the cafeteria that didn’t look disgusting.”
I open the container and realize I’m fucking starving. “I feel sort of bad eating this in front of Dad when he can’t eat anything.”
Cole shrugs. “He’s hopped up on goofballs. I really don’t think he gives a shit.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I take a bite of a chicken finger, and chew it thoughtfully. “You know, you’re really,um— thanks, I mean. Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.” Cole turns back to his phone, and there’s silence in the room once more.
***
“Hey, your brother and Bree are here.” Cole shifts in his chair, turning to look at me. It’s a little before eight o’clock, and we’re waiting for transport to bring Dad upstairs for his surgery. “Should I just go out to the waiting room and let Seth come in, or —?”
“I can walk you out,” I reply quickly. “Dad, is that okay with you?”
Dad nods. “I’ll be fine.”
I follow Cole out into the hall, and we weave our way through the emergency department, pushing out the double doors into the waiting room.
“Thereyou are!” Bree is a tiny blur, throwing herself into Cole’s arms. I notice he holds on to her for a long time.
“How was the drive?” I ask as Seth gives me a hug.
Seth rolls his eyes. “There are not enough fucking swear words. It was a parking lot the whole way.”
“Thankfully we’re here now,” Bree cuts in. Her hug isn’t the warmest one she’s ever given me. “Should Cole and I stay out here so that you two can go in?”
Seth looks at his watch. “We’re probably going to be back there for a few hours. Maybe you guys should head up to the house and get some rest, and we’ll come up and join you when it’s all over.”
“Oh,fuck—” I interject. “I just realized — I didn’t even think about staying overnight when we left the city. I don’t have a change of clothes or anything.”
“Don’t worry about that,” Cole says softly. “Bree and I can stop somewhere and I’ll take care of it.”
“Really?” I eye him carefully. “Do you need, like — my size or anything?”
“Bitch,please.” It’s the closest thing Cole has given me to a smile all day.
After they leave, Seth and I start down the hallway to find Dad. “So, you two — you didn’t, I dunno, talk?” he asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know what’s going on with him. But come on, Dad needs us right now. There will be time to figure it out later.”
At least, I hope so.
***
“Hey, Ezra?” Seth leans his head toward me, but he keeps his eyes on the two-lane highway in front of us. It’s almost midnight, and I know he’s as exhausted as I am.
“What’s up?” I’m barely conscious, all of the adrenaline of the day bleeding out of my body. Dad’s surgery was a success, and we left him in the recovery room after saying our goodbyes, with plans to return and check on him in the morning.
Seth shifts his grip on the steering wheel. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, because you’ve been on my mind, but — I feel like I fucked up, after Mom died. And when she was sick, too.”
All the sleepy silence in the car is replaced by hot copper wire. “How so?”
“I dunno.” Seth hesitates as if he’s gathering his thoughts, and I wait, studying his profile in the dark. “I just — I feel like you were alone a lot, and you were still a kid.”
