5:30 p.m.
It’s laterthan I would have preferred by the time I walk into Travis’s bedroom to talk with him this afternoon. I’d hoped to get home to discuss shit with Lily before Travis arrived home from school. That didn’t happen, and when I did finally get home, Travis was in a worse mood than this morning. I know myson well, so I know his moods are due to him anticipating this conversation. Travis might be a hothead like me and his brother, but unlike Cade, he cares more about what Lily and I think than almost anything. He gets himself into some shit, but then regrets the hell out of it pretty fast.
He's sitting on his bed scrolling his phone when I step into his room. Glancing up from the phone, he watches me silently while I move to sit on the edge of the bed.
“How was your day?” I ask.
He shrugs. “Okay.”
“You did your detention?”
He nods.
My sons are like me; they use as few words as possible to get across what they need to. It’s only when I’m dealing with conversations like this one that I fully appreciate what Lily puts up with from me.
“You understand that you could be looking at a suspension if you get yourself into another fight at school?”
“Yeah.”
“And you realise that means you’ll also be off the football team?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s the plan here?”
He frowns. “What do you mean?”
“Do you have a plan for how you’ll stop getting yourself into shit?”
My question throws him. I know that by the confusion written all over his face.
“I figured you and Mum would tell me what to do.”
“We’ve been telling you what to do your entire life, Travis. Now, it’s up to you to take all that advice and figure out what to do with it.”
His eyes widen slightly for a moment. I don’t miss it though, and it’s what I was going for.
After thinking about everything Lily said this morning about Cade and Travis, I came home and suggested to her that we rely more on the natural consequences of Travis’s behaviour. I want him to think more about his actions, knowing that Lily and I won’t always try to save him when he gets himself into trouble. While we’ll still give him some of our own consequences, I think it’s time for us to stop trying to control things so much and just let the natural consequences of his behaviour run their course. I’m a big fucking believer in life being the best teacher.
Fuck knows, though, if this is the worst idea I’ve ever come up with. Lily told me all we can do is try it and see.
He looks at me with more confusion. “So, you’re not going to give me a consequence?”
“Yeah, I am. You bet your ass I am. But these consequences don’t seem to encourage you to make good choices, so from here on out, your mother and I won’t be going to bat for you at school whenever something like this happens, we won’t be writing letters for you if you don’t get your homework done, we won’t be helping you ask for extensions for assignments, and we won’t be assisting your football coach with ensuring you do the shit you need to do to stay on the team. You’ll suffer the natural consequence of every action you choose, Travis. And on top of that, you’ll get to spend a shitload of time with me doing things you’d rather not be doing.”
He groans. “You’re going to make me do yard work, aren’t you?”
“Son, you’ve no idea what’s ahead for you. I will tell you, though, that you can write off the next two weekends.”
“Dad! That’s not fair. You know I’ve got that party in a couple of weeks. And I didn’t start that fight!”
“What’s the one thing I’ve always told you, Travis?”
His lips press together, and he looks away from me, directing his gaze to the floor.
When he doesn’t answer me, I say, “We can sit here all night if we have to.”
He glares at the floor like it’s the cause of all his current problems.
