“Ethan!” Emma yelled after me. “I’m sorry!”
I didn’t acknowledge that I heard her. Instead, I changed into a wolven and ran into the woods, away from the school. I was looking for a monster to kill, something to take my rage out on. I found nothing but my own vacant terror.
I didn’t mean to yell at her, or lose my temper. She just didn’t realize that she’d scared me— she didn’t realize what I’d been through. If I had met her and lost her, all in the same day… if thatmeluzahad managed to get its fangs in her… it’d be like losing my father all over again. I felt weak and desolate at the thought.
I replayed the moment her eyes looked at my leg over and over. Then the cold reality hit me. Emma wouldn’t want someone like me— a cripple without a leg, with a scarred past and a bad reputation that preceded him. She didn’t understand this world. She’d been thrust into a new reality with no sense of direction, and it showed today in the way she’d failed to kill the snake. An Arcanea wouldn’t have hesitated.
She couldn’t be queen. It wouldn’t work. She wouldn’t be able to handle the responsibility of it. She couldn’t take a fight with one monster. How could she stand up against an army of them, again and again and again? Being queen was an unforgiving job. It’d nearly killed my own mother several times.
Emma hardly understood what an Arcaneawas. I wanted to protect her. I didn’t want to put her at risk. But she wasn’t a warrior. She was just a girl. And what kind of match would we be for the kingdom, with not just one of us disabled, buttwoof us? How could we manage to win the support of the people? Were we even fit for the job?
For the first time in my life, I hesitated when I thought about becoming king. I considered backing out of the King’s Contest and turning down the throne… all because of this one girl who I barely knew.
But I couldn’t do that, could I? My people depended on me. They needed a strong king, someone to lead them when times got too miserable to endure, and my father’s legacy was on the line. Either I could have the crown, or I could live a life with Emma. I couldn’t have both.
It seemed like I had a choice to make. The monarchy… or my mate.
Chapter Eight
Emma
I’d seen the look in Ethan’s eyes as he ran away from me. It cut me so deeply that it felt like a blade was still sawing out a cavern in my soul.
I thought his wolven form was beautiful. He looked so strong and proud. I wanted to run my fingers through his thick white fur and bury my face into his shoulder. The animal he became was muscular and gorgeous. It took my breath away.
Then he’d noticed me staring at his lost leg. The pain in his expression was obvious and agonizing. I hardly cared if he was missing a limb— but to Ethan, he acted like he’d lost the world. He didn’t want me to see, and I had. Stupid eyes.
He’d yelled at me for hesitating to kill a monster. I knew I’d made a mistake, but he expected me to murder a begging woman without batting an eye. I wasn’t at that point yet. I wasn’t sure if I ever would be.
I couldn’t handle this place. It was too brutal, too savage. I’d thought I was tough, but the tough I knew was nothing compared to the Arcanea.
I went to get a quick lunch in the cafeteria. Every meal here was like a four-course feast served at a fine dining restaurant. Though I’d only wanted something small, I ended up ordering a watercress salad and a pasta with scallops. I was gonna be six hundred pounds by the time I graduated.
On my way to my next class, I passed Odette. She was talking to Delmare— they were sitting on a stone bench in the courtyard near a giant sculpture of an alicorn, chatting away. Both of them were wearing their uniforms.
Odette noticed my frown as I approached. “What is it?” Odette asked. “You seem upset.”
“Yeah, who pissed in your cereal?” Delmare added. Odette smacked her playfully.
I waited before I dared to ask the question. “I had class with Ethan Nowak. He took his wolven form, and one leg was missing… but in his human form, he still has all four limbs?”
“Oh, it’s a prosthetic,” Odette said. “Ethan lost his right leg while fighting a leshanea few months ago on the hunt. It killed his father and everything. A lot of people still blame Ethan for the king’s death.”
“You mean his father was slain right in front of him, and he lost his leg in the process?” How absolutely horrible. I couldn’t even imagine. I wasn’t an emotional person, but tears sparked at the corner of my eyes thinking about how awful it must’ve been. No wonder he’d freaked out on me.
“Yep. Very tragic. But his wolven form doesn’t have a prosthetic, so...” Odette shrugged.
“Are injuries like that common among the Arcanea?” I asked.
Odette made a noise. “Emm… not really. If you lose a limb or an eye, you’re considered one of the lucky ones. Typically, people don’t walk away if a monster gets their claws in them. But no good Arcanea dies of old age.”
“A horrid death,” Delmare added, and she shivered.
“You’d mean… you’d rather be killed by a monster than die warm and old in your bed?” I asked.
“Of course!” Odette exclaimed. “How else do you expect to get into the Great Hunting Grounds that lie beyond? The best warriors with the best deaths get to join the Eternal Hunt. It’s a great honor.”
“If you live to be ancient and don’t have any scars, people think that you’re lazy and not doing your job,” Delmare informed me.
