“Yeah.” She was breathing a little hard. “Thursdays aren’t great days for me.”
“We’re almost there,” I told her.
She nodded before she said, “Distract me. What happens next?”
“Tomorrow is theDyzen da du Merte.The Day of the Dead,” I said. “I’ll be at my father’s monument in the cathedral, keeping vigil. The rest of the city will also be at grave sites, lighting candles. Altars placed with photos and treasured items of our deceased loved ones will be laid out at our homes, with a burning candle to signify the presence of the absent, until midnight when it is blown out. It’s one of our most honored traditions.”
Emma breathed and said, “I think I’m gonna need your help making it up this mountain.”
“Here. Lean into me.” I pulled her closer. Emma pushed her weight into me until I was more or less lifting her with one arm as we climbed. Again, I was astonished with how light she was. No wonder she was able to do jumps on the ice with ease.
Emma shivered, and I said, “You cold?”
“Yes. It got chilly fast. Though the cold doesn’t usually bother me,” she said.
“Here. Take my jacket.” I slipped it off and put it around her shoulders. They seemed to sag under its weight. She seemed a little bit more comfortable, and my chest glowed.
I was doing a very poor job at keeping Emma at a distance. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep this up, honestly. It was breaking me.
When we reached the mountain’s summit, the crowd gathered around the High Priestess in a half circle. The music stopped, and all was silent. We stood respectfully to take in the sound of the wind whistling, the owls calling, and the leaves rustling in the trees.
The High Priestess raised her staff, and the Arcanea around us took a collective breath to blow the candles out.
Chapter Fourteen
Emma
The festival was absolutely beautiful. The ceremony afterward had been one of the most incredible moments of my life. And I’d experienced it all with Ethan by my side.
After it was over, I felt inspired. While most of the citizens of Malovia were praying at grave sites on the Day of the Dead, I went to the bookstore and purchased a leather journal. I started writing down all the things in my past that I wanted to let go, and the goals I wanted to focus on in the future.
The theme of renewal and rebirth around this time of year motivated me. I didn’t have anyone to mourn— no one I was close to in my life had died— but I still wanted to take part in the holiday.
By the time I was done writing, my list was pretty long. I had a lot of things on it— like forgiving my mom for lying to me, and to change my perspective on my diagnosis— to learn what my new body would teach me, instead of mourning what I never really had in the first place.
Ethan would be so excited. He’d be thrilled that I was getting into my heritage.
After a few moments, I tapped my chin with my quill and added another note.
Discover the identity of the Phantom.
What the old woman had said in the cathedral spoke to me. You could never have enough time with the one you loved. If the hag was right, I only had four years or less left to live, and I didn’t even know my mate’s name. I needed to spend every moment I could with him, before the end— if the end was coming soon, that was.
My illness had changed me, that was for sure. Although it wasn’t exactly terminal, it was, more than likely, life-limiting. Unlike most people, I had a pretty good idea how I was going to die… if my disease got to me, anyhow. I’d catch a virus I couldn’t get over, or my lungs or liver would fail, or I’d get a cancer that wasn’t curable. Those were the most likely ways.
Or I could die in a random accident or something. Who knew? It was weird, but all this talk of death hadn’t depressed me— it just made me want to go out and live more. It was kind of morbid, but it made me… excited.
I’d seen my illness as a curse, but it was literally more of a blessing. It was teaching me how to live every moment. I needed to do more than just meaninglessly exist. And honestly, that was so much worse… to be fine physically, but to live a life that had no purpose. That was a slow death that nobody wanted, but that most people experienced.
I couldn’t live like that anymore. I didn’t have the time to waste. I had to make every moment count, and cherish each second like it was a gift. I wanted to bealive.
I wanted to show Ethan what I’d come up with, but I knew he was at his father’s tomb today and wouldn’t be back until later that evening. I spent my night alone (all my friends were out celebrating with their families) but on Sunday morning, I fully expected Ethan to show up to school.
He wasn’t there. I figured he must’ve gone back to the palace or something to see his mom. He was a prince, after all, and class didn’t resume until Monday. I bet he had better things to do than be here.
I was kinda bummed. At this point, I was reconsidering showing Ethan my list at all. Maybe he’d think it was dumb.
I ditzed around all day in Dolinska by visiting the different shops and cafes. It was near dinnertime when I headed back to school, my leather journal tucked tightly against my side. By this point I’d decided not to show Ethan my new resolutions at all. It’d become something private and sacred. I wasn’t sure I wanted to share that with him. I didn’t know how he’d react, and I didn’t want him to think less of me. It was better to keep things like this to myself.
