“It doesn’t matter what you want! Facts are facts!” I shouted. “Living in denial isn’t going to help when the wolves come knocking at your door! They’re after me. You just can’t admit it.”
“Emma, calm down. We can work something out,” Ethan said as he rose to his feet beside me.
I shoved him back, hard. “Screw you! If you’re not going to help me figure out a way to stay alive when these psychos are clearly looking for a way to kill me, then I don’t need you.”
I whirled around and headed for the tree line on the border of the academy grounds. Ethan took a step after me. “Emma, wait—”
“Leave me alone! I need a break.” I headed into the woods as twilight fell. Thankfully, Ethan kept his distance and didn’t follow.
I knew not to head too far into the woods. There were monsters out here, though I wondered if getting eaten by one of them would be a better option than allowing the Black Claw to use my blood to bring an evil god back from the dead.
I walked until I hit a stream. Then I kicked a tree and let out an angry yell. This was impossible. Ethan was being such a douche. Why couldn’t he just face reality?
I sat by the edge of the stream and put my head in my hands for a moment. I felt exhausted. All this stress was only making my condition worse. The little amount of energy that I had each day was being sucked up by all this fear. I didn’t know if I could make the walk back to the school without passing out. Shit, maybe Ishould’velet Ethan follow me.
I sighed. I stared down at the rushing water and wondered if there was a way out of this. The thing was, I wasn’t even that scared of the Black Claw. Or dying, really. I’d come to terms with that when I got my diagnosis.
I was afraid of living in fear. Of constantly having to be on guard and looking over my shoulder. That was far worse than anything the Black Claw could do to me. I didn’t want to be afraid to live.
“I just want to be brave,” I whispered.
Slowly, I stood up. The world wavered a little, and the ground beneath me shook, though it had everything to do with me and not the earth. I put a hand on the same trunk I’d kicked to steady myself, took a few deep breaths, and turned around to head back.
My jaw dropped open as I witnessed an incredible sight before me. A deer stood directly ahead, in the middle of the woods. Intuitively, I knew it was a female. She had white fur that was purer than freshly fallen snow, and winding golden antlers that sprouted out of her head like tree branches. The antlers grew tiny emerald leaves, and there were dozens of points, twisting together to make a complicated mess of root-like art. The doe had a small, dished face, and a golden mane around her ears and head. Her cloven hooves were made of pure silver, and the air shimmered around her, as if sparkling. Butterflies and birds hovered around her form, landing upon the collection of antlers. She was huge— nearly the size of a small elephant. Though the sun had set by now and it was supposed to be dark, the entire forest was lit up with golden light. The dead trees and grass grew new green shoots, like we were in the middle of spring and not late fall.
Great, now I was hallucinating.But this seemed entirely real. When I breathed, the air felt cleaner, more new. The doe took a step toward me, and I stumbled backward into the stream.
Do not be afraid. Do you know who I am? the doe asked. Her voice was like silk gliding across skin, or the taste of warm honey on a cold winter’s night. It was motherly and friendly and home. I wanted to sink into it.
I shook my head quickly. I’d lost the ability to speak.
I am Milonna, the goddess of your foremothers. I am the White Doe of Peace, good death, fertility, romance, and love,she spoke gently.I am here to guide you on your quest, Worldweaver. It was I who sent the hag to you, to foretell the prophecy.
I slowly came out of the water. “Why… why are you here, goddess?”
To tell you that I have chosen you as my champion.She blinked her eyes, and her long eyelashes fluttered.
“Me?” I gaped. “Why would you want me? I’m sick. I can barely do magic. You should choose someone else.”
Do not question why. The Dark God is coming, to ravage souls and destroy the world of the Arcanea. Only you can stop this,Milonna said firmly.
“What do you want me to do?” I asked in a stuttering voice. Finally, some direction.
The answers will come in time. But more important is the journey, she replied.Know that when you are at your greatest need, I shall be there to show the way.
I swallowed. “The Black Claw wants to kill me. I’m afraid.”
It is they who should be afraid of you, for I have bestowed in you a power even the gods fear,Milonna spoke.
She took a few steps toward me. I did not dare to move. Milonna stretched out her muzzle, and the tip of her velvet nose brushed against my fingers. A white light glowed from my hand as she drew away. As it dimmed I felt a powerful and strong warmth hum throughout my soul.
Go, now. Those who seek your life shall not claim it until the proper time,Milonna said.And do not be afraid, for I walk beside you, Worldweaver. Now until the ending dawn.
Milonna faded away before my very eyes. With it, she took the daylight and the spring, until I was left shivering in the cold darkness once again.
Something inside me had changed. I could feel it. I wasn’t as afraid as I once was.
Courage was building up inside me and growing stronger with every passing second. I had Milonna to protect me. She had chosen me as her champion. I didn’t know why, but it had to be for a reason. She was the goddess of my foremothers, and had chosenme, an outsider, over all other Arcanea to save the country. She wouldn’t have come to me unless whatever she had planned for me was of vital importance.
