“You’re being a hypocrite,” I spat. “You were in love with the Phantom before you were in love with me. You told me you bonded with him months ago.”
“I bonded with him, but I fell in love with you! There’s a difference!” Emma cried.
“How so? You were obsessed with the Phantom last semester. You adored him and had no interest in me,” I said. My words were full of spite. “It wasn’t until after the Contest when you finally began to love me.”
“Because the veil had come off. I didn’t know what I was getting into with the Phantom,” Emma said slowly. “I thought he was a superhero.”
She scoffed. “Turns out, he’s the villain.”
A part of me ignited— the dark part. The Phantom stirred within my chest, and I growled, “The Phantom is a tool I use to protect the city of Dolinska.”
“The Phantom sliced me open!” Emma yanked up her shirt, and I saw with bitter agony the matted scar there. “That wasn’t Eli, or Gabby, that wasyou,Ethan. Do you realize what this is going to do to me? I can’t go skating until this heals. Hell, this is where myneedles go in. I’ll have to do my infusion in my legs now, and youknowthat was something I wanted to avoid doing at all costs to protect my skating career. Oh, and by the way, I have to worry about this getting infected. Which it probably will, because I’m immunocompromised, so there might bemorecomplications! If this thing doesn’t put me in the hospital, I’ll be damn lucky.”
I forced down the urge to vomit again and said, “I’m sorry, Emma. I’m so, so sorry.”
I knew no apology would ever make it up. I could be Emma’s slave for a thousand years and it wouldn’t account for my actions.
“It’s not just about me. You butchered those cultists. That woman was begging for mercy, and you took her life without thinking,” Emma said. “That wasn’t self-defense, it was murder!”
“I was defending my country! Thousands more will die if I don’t take the lives of a few!” I stated. “The Black Claw has to be dealt with. Malovia won’t survive if the cult continues to exist.”
“You’re so caught up in this black-and-white thinking. Things aren’t always what they seem,” Emma insisted. “How can I love someone who can kill so senselessly? How can I feel safe when you’re capable of that? After what I saw tonight, I have trouble deciding if I’m in love with a sane person or a psychopath!”
“You know I’d never hurt you.”
“But you did. And you hurt other people,” Emma said. “Ethan, I’m scared of you. And I have a right to be. The Phantom is a terrifying monster. If he can do what he did to the White Rose, what can he do to other people?”
It gutted me to know she was terrified when she looked at my face. I didn’t know how to fix that. “I’m doing the right thing. The Phantom saves lives,” I said. “No, it’s not a traditional method of justice. But sometimes vigilante justice is the only way to solve problems.”
“Does it always have to end in death?” she whispered.
“You once told me kings have to kill. Do you take that back now?”
“But you’re not a king! You never will be. You don’t have that kind of authority to determine who lives and who dies. That belongs in the hands of the gods.”
I let out a cruel laugh. “The gods? The gods didn’t care when I lost my leg. The gods didn’t care when my father died. The gods stood by when the Black Cult murdered those people tonight, and they would’ve killed more if we hadn’t stopped them. The gods will donothing, Emma. It is up to us to make our own way.”
“It doesn’t matter the reasons. Evil is evil,” she said forcefully, and she slapped a hand into her palm for emphasis. “Whatever the Black Claw has done, you’re becoming just like them by turning into a madman.”
“I’m doing what I need to for my country. Sometimes, sacrifices must be made.”
Emma gave me a resentful look, and her voice was heavy as she said, “You’re acting just like Eli.”
My tone became dark. “What?”
“You heard me,” she said with a rasping breath. “You don’t want Elijah off the throne for the good of the country. You want to get him off so you can get another shot at being king! All you care about is power! You get off on deciding other people’s fates!”
It felt like she’d taken a sword and stabbed me through the heart, slowly and with malice. I couldn’t believe the words she’d said. Did she really believe them?
Was she right?
Terror became bitterness within me, and I let the root take hold and grow. “If you think so poorly of me, why are you still with me?” I asked coolly. “What do you want to do next? Break our bond? Reject me as your mate?”
“I don’t know!” Emma tore at her hair. “I don’t know what to do! I love you, Ethan, but I can’t be bonded to the Phantom. I have to stand my ground on this.”
“Both of us agree Malovia needs to be protected. We’re merely divided on how to do it!” I burst.
“The Phantom isn’t the right way,” Emma pleaded. “We can find the stones. Then we can worry about Gabby and Elijah.”
