Perhaps there was still a chance. We’d broken up, but she hadn’t rejected my bond— not yet.
Would she?
But if she still made the same ultimatum... still held to her word she could not love the Phantom... was there even hope? If she didn’t love all of me, what kind of love would that be?
Emma couldn’t be with the Phantom, but I could not give him up. There had to be some middle ground we could take, so neither of us would give up and walk away.
Maybe the Phantom could change, and become a better man. What if there was a way to tame the beast inside, a way to control the monster that beat within my heart?
The Phantom stirred. My wolf growled, as if they were opposing enemies. For the first time, my soul felt torn instead of whole.
What’s the point of saving Malovia if you have to lose your soul to do it?
This is what my country’s salvation cost. It cost me my soul’s desire. It cost me Emma.
No. This couldn’t be the end. There had to be another way.
I shakily rose to stand. I couldn’t be seen like this. If I had to fall apart, it needed to be in private— away from where my enemies could witness my fall.
I dared not return to the dormitories. Emma was there, and to be close to her now would feel like absolute hell.
The palace wasn’t an option, either. I had no desire to speak with those who wanted to know where I’d been, and had no energy besides.
A thought came to me... the cabin on campus grounds. The one where Emma and I had shared that precious moment last semester. I could remain there for the night and duck out before morning.
It would be painful to stay there, as the cabin was filled with memories of the woman I loved— the woman I’d lost, hadchosento lose. But I was certain no one would bother me there, and I wanted to be alone.
I changed into a wolven and ran along the campus walls until I broke out into the main grounds. When I reached the cabin, it was thankfully dark. I entered in and found it empty. There was a strange smell in the air— like a shifter had been here the night before, but they were long gone now. I locked the door behind me and lit a singular log in the fireplace before I sat on the couch, my head cradled in my hands.
She was gone. I couldn’t believe she was gone. I didn’t know if I’d ever see her again. Not in a million years did I ever think this situation would come about. I thought Emma and I would be together forever.
That was a foolish notion. One made by a boy and not a man. Love sometimes didn’t last forever.
My insides stirred violently and turned cold as I thought of the repercussions. What if she broke our bond, and ruined the magic between us by performing the separation ceremony? What would I do then? I’d be ruined.
I was already ruined. Shifters were helpless without their mates. They were aimless, poor creatures lost in a storm without any direction, vacant of a northern star to guide them on. It felt like I was a wolf on a mountain that never ceased, an endless night around me devoid of moonlight and stars. Loneliness clawed at my gut like hunger, threatening starvation but never actually succumbing.
Emma had destroyed me. But it was I who had made the final choice, the one who’d delivered the blow, and by the gods I didn’t know if I could forgive myself for that.
I got up from my seat and began to pace. This was all my fault. Yet I’d been backed into a corner by the ultimatum she’d given. I severely doubted I’d made the right choice, but why did there have to be a choice at all? Why couldn’t she accept me for who I was?
Because she doesn’t understand what we have, a sinister voice hissed in my head.
I jerked backward, startled. That voice had been as clear— like there was a creature speaking telepathically to me. I knew one thing. It wasn’t my own.
“Who’s here?” I demanded. “Show yourself.”
I’ve been here for a long time, Ethan. I’d thought I’d introduce myself,the voice responded.
I turned around. I fell backward as I saw my own reflection in the mirror on the wall... but that person wasn’t me. He looked like me, save for the fact he had violent red eyes.
Though I was on the floor, my reflection remained standing, leaning against the side of the mirror with his arms crossed. He smiled at me and revealed pointed teeth.
There. It’s about time we met, my reflection purred.I’ve been waiting for a chance to talk to you for ages.
“Who the fuck are you?” I breathed, backing up. I wanted to attack it, but how could I? It was just a figure in the mirror.
I’m you, Ethan. Or at least, I am now.My reflection chuckled. I watched my own shoulders shake as he broke down into delirious laughter.
