I understood their reactions. I was basically confessing I had a terminal disease festering inside me, waiting to take over and claim me wholly.
It was the look on Emma’s face that hurt me the most. Her eyes watered. She surveyed me up and down, as if she could see the demon inside me, before her expression blazed in a way that signified there was a chance for us.
“Ademon? Godsdammit, Ethan!” Stefan barked. “When were you going to tell us this?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty fucking crucial information,” Delmare said. Theo waved his hand, telling her to calm down.
“I didn’t know myself, until the end of the last semester,” I confessed. “The leshane came to me and threatened to take over everything. He’s been using me as a host ever since my father died. He just didn’t choose to emerge until now. He entered my body as I was losing my leg. The moment I was vulnerable.”
My voice sounded so broken. Emma’s hand twitched at her side— like she wanted to reach out to me, but didn’t.
“Why didn’t you tell us this sooner? Months have passed, Ethan!” Theo shouted.
“Finding the crystals is our top priority. This demon is a distraction,” I said. “If I had said anything sooner, everyone would’ve been trying to help me instead of searching for the stones. And finding the crystals is more important than saving my life.”
A few guilty faces passed around the group. Stefan rapped his fingers against the wooden wall and said, “So, did you get it out?”
I frowned. “No. I’ve been traveling the world all summer, looking for shamans and other supernaturals who can cast out the demon. No one has succeeded as of yet. This one has a strong hold on me.”
Alexei’s expression was contemplative. “You know, that actually makes sense,” he mused in a low voice. “Last semester, I felt so many emotions rolling off of you, and so many of them conflicted at the same time. I didn’t understand how that could be possible. Now I realize that I’m actually experiencing the feelings of two different people— yourself and the leshane.”
“What does the leshane feel now?” Emma asked.
Alexei’s face twisted. He paused before he said, “All I can feel from the leshane is death. He wants power.”
Emma paled. Kiara shifted against Alexei’s side. “I can feel it, too,” she added. “Though not as strongly as Alexei. These two parts are battling inside you, Ethan.”
“I know. It’s been truly devastating,” I said. “I still have control, for now.”
I swallowed past the large lump in my throat. “But I won’t for long.”
Alexei looked at Kiara. “Please tell me you have something for demon possession, Kiara.”
She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Maybe… though it’s a long shot.” She frowned.
“Why don’t we just go to the high priestesses? They could probably cast out the demon,” Theo offered.
“No,” I said sharply. “I refuse.”
“Refuse? Are you insane?” Theo asked. “This is your life!”
“It’ll cause another scandal. I’ve already brought so much shame upon my royal house, upon my family… upon my mate.” My head dropped, and I chanced a small glance at Emma… who was wide-eyed with shock. “If we go to the high priestesses, it’ll be all over the tabloids by that night. My name and anyone who associates with me will be humiliated. There’s no guarantee they’ll get this thing out. Then my loved ones will be shamed and shunned even further. Only weak Arcanea allow themselves to be possessed.”
“That’s bullshit!” Emma exploded for the first time that day. She stormed at me. “You’re not weak, Ethan! You let your guard down fortwo seconds, and a monster took advantage! That isn’t weakness.”
“Pardon me, but the Circle won’t see it that way. Neither will the people,” I said quietly. “Emma, we might not be together anymore, but in the eyes of Arcanean law, we’re still mated. What falls on me falls on you. And I refuse to cause any more pain and embarrassment to you than I already have.”
Emma’s cheeks burned. “I’m not embarrassed of you for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“You don’t get it, Em. People will say you failed to protect your shifter. That you’re an incompetent sorceress,” Kiara pleaded. “Losing the Contest was strike one. Now that this has happened, you’ll have lost your last chance to prove yourself as a Marked. The fae will run you out of town.”
“Let them!” Emma shouted. “I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks, so long as Ethan is okay!”
I stared at her for a moment. The surrounding silence was deafening. “Would the rest of you mind giving Emma and I some privacy?”
I didn’t have to ask twice. The room cleared out, as if our friends wanted to escape the suffocating atmosphere that was closing in around Emma and I. Once they were gone, Emma paced around the room. Her steps landed heavily upon the hardwood.
Being alone with her— it was agonizing. The beating of my broken heart against my chest made me want to rip it out and stomp all over it. Gods, I needed to get this over with quickly.
