Fuck, she was crying. Instinctually, I reached out and pulled her into a hug. Instead of drawing away, Ava laid her head on my chest. Her tears stained my shirt, but I just held on tight to her. I wanted this moment to last forever— no matter how much it hurt— because I knew this was the last time I was ever going to hold her.
“Wh-what are we going to do about Oberi?” Ava asked in a wavering tone.
It was obvious what she meant, though neither of us said it. We were connected through a soul bond, and Oberi would always be that bridge for us. But as for the rest of it… it was just too painful. Ava and I could no longer be friends. Hell, I didn’t know ifanyof us would be friends anymore. Not after what we endured in Forevermore. I wasn’t just losing Ava. I was losing Kallie and Marcus, too.
“We’ll share custody.” I forced a chuckle, but my lame attempt at lightening the mood fell flat.
“That’s probably best,” she agreed. “I guess this is goodbye.”
Her words forged a chasm between us, and I physically felt the hole that formed in our bond. The two halves of our souls split, as if they couldn’t bear to be together anymore. It was so strange— like the time before I’d met Ava. I hadn’t realized such a big part of me was missing, but now that we were no longer one, it was as if my identity had been ripped in half, and she took most of me with her.
My legs went weak at the thought of losing her affection. It drove me halfway to hell just thinking about her being with someone else, imagining some other man pressed up against her skin and making her feel the way that only I could. We’d shared everything with each other, and it didn’t seem to matter.
Don’t go.I wanted to beg her not to leave me. I wanted to tell her I was sorry, and ask her to stay with me. I wished to be reminded of what it felt like to experience her love. The thought of being alone in the world once again, without a family or even someone to care for, made me want to throw up. I couldn’t stand being alone anymore. I wanted… her.
But I wanted to hurt less. And I knew the longer we drug this out, the more we fought, the more we tried to stay together, the worse it would be. Two people could be in love but bad for each other, and that’s what Ava and I were. I had to protect myself from getting hurt worse than I already was. To avoid being destroyed completely, I had to push her away. It tore me up how she was choosing to leave me, just like I’d decided to leave her. That we agreed this wasn’t going anywhere was almost worse than being dumped.
I always knew I was going to lose her, anyway. Might as well just let her go now.
My stomach hollowed, and my voice sounded empty. “Yeah. I guess it is.”
Ava shook in my arms as she drew away. “Goodbye, Charlie,” she said, before turning away and leaving me standing there. Her footsteps left holes in my heart as she abandoned the balcony and ran away.
Something broke inside of me, but I couldn’t stand to feel it. I didn’t want to cry anymore, or suffer anymore loss.
So instead, I just… went numb. I felt the air around me and heard the door close behind Ava, but inside, I didn’t allow myself tofeelanything. It scared me, but not as much as the ungodly pain of letting her go did.
What have you done?Oberi roared in my mind. He was on the verge of complete panic.
I was too broken to respond.
Stay where you’re at,he demanded.I’m coming to find you.
I threw up a wall between us, because I couldn’t bear to hear him tell me what a huge mistake I’d just made— and I knew in my heart he would.
I forgot how I got back inside the building and down to the main level. I must’ve been wandering around for over an hour, though I had no sense of time and no sense of direction. I couldn’t even sense Oberi through the bond, though he had to be looking for me. I didn’t know what to do, or where to go.
It terrified me.
“Charlie,” a voice called down the hall. I didn’t recognize the voice at first— didn’t even recognize my own name.
“Charlie,” the voice repeated. Footsteps approached, and I finally came to attention.
“Who’s there?” My voice didn’t seem like my own.
“It’s Eddie,” the Elf announced. He’d been among the prisoners the Warden had brought back to the Institute. “What are you doing wandering around? I heard you’d been released from the infirmary. I’ve been looking for you for hours.”
I tried to force myself to breathe, but I’d gone so numb even that didn’t seem possible. “I got lost,” I said flatly, though it held more meaning than I intended. “Where are we?”
“A deserted hall at the back of the Institute,” Eddie said. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head but answered, “I’ll be fine. Why were you looking for me?”
“I’m your guard, remember?” Eddie sounded really worried.
“Yes, of course,” I said. “But you’re not my servant. You don’t have to follow me around.”
“The Institute is a dangerous place,” Eddie pointed out. “I won’t let you get hurt.”
