I rolled my eyes. He could besococky.
Charlie jiggled his legs, bouncing me up and down. “You seem like you’re getting comfortable.”
“I don’t want to get off,” I replied. Being on Charlie’s lap was by far one of my favorite places.
“I don’t object.” He leaned back, like he was content with having me close. “Ava, being with you is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. What we have together means everything.”
His words brought me some comfort, but still… I felt apprehensive. There were things about being with me that Charlie couldn’t possibly understand until they happened. And once they did, and I went on the warpath, I was concerned he’d remember what it’d be like to be with somebody else.
But he couldn’t dump me if we weren’t really dating. I’d done my homework. I’d protected myself.
“I know you’ve been with other people before,” I said. “That has to make a difference. I know I’m not your first, but I’m okay with that. I just want to meet your expectations.”
“They were transactions,” Charlie explained. “I was giving something away to get something else. The women I was with always wanted me to pleasure them. I never got anything in return, except a night off the streets.”
“Wow, that’s rude,” I said. What a bunch of selfish lovers.
“I had to learn pretty quickly how to make a woman feel good if I wanted a warm bed and a roof over my head,” Charlie said.
“So… how many women have you been with?” I asked. It wasn’t really my business to know, but I was a little curious. I hoped he didn’t find my question invasive.
His cheeks tinted red. “A dozen,” Charlie spat. “Yeah, uh, let’s just say it was a dozen.”
Well, that sounded like a lie, but I wasn’t going to press. After all, that was in the past.
“Have you ever made a woman come by just touching her breasts before?” I asked. It couldn’t be just me, right?
“No,” he said. “I mean, girls have told me I’m good, but that was on another level.”
I’d say. Our chemistry was off the charts. I didn’t know if it was our bond, or just the way we felt about each other, but the connection we had while sharing our bodies was intense.
Charlie studied the quietness between us. “I know what you’re thinking. I felt it when you came, too. I didn’t even think such a thing was possible.”
Me neither. I’d never heard of something like that before, even in cases of fated mates like the fae had. Did the fact that we shared a soul made our sexual experiences that much more powerful?
Charlie reached up, like he wanted to brush back my hair. As he swept a few strands away, I noticed the red and purple armband I’d woven for him as his birthday present around his wrist. “You’re wearing the armband I made you,” I said.
“I don’t take it off,” Charlie said. “It’s the best gift I ever received.”
That got to me. My eyes watered for the second time that day, and I choked out, “Did you mean what you said in therapy? About Oberi and me being your family?”
“Of course I did, pidge. It’s you and me for life. Nothing’s ever gonna tear us apart. I won’t let it.”
I wanted to believe him so badly. After the powerful moment we’d just experienced, I needed to think we’d last forever.
But at some point, the fairytale would have to break. He wasn’t aware of the oncoming tempest, but I knew it was coming. I could feel it brewing inside my emotions like a hurricane, just waiting to burst.
Until it did, I’d cling to him. Charlie was the only way I could bear to weather the worst before it struck.
After then, I’d be on my own.
Unless he chooses to stick around, a voice in my head offered.
I’d typically push such fantasies away, but I couldn’t this time. I wanted to hold on to hope that once Charlie saw the monster inside of me, he wouldn’t be afraid to face it.
Yet I knew better. No one could tame me once I’d been let out of my cage. I hurt people. Unintentionally, but when the worst came and I crashed, I did damage and wrecked whatever was in front of me. Charlie wouldn’t be able to stand against the storm. No one would willingly choose this kind of life.
Even so... I dared to dream.
