A knot twisted inside of me. “Yet.”
“No. Never. The people in here have been through a lot of shit, Ava. They’ve seen stuff, they know hard things, and they’re not going to run away from it. Kallie, Marcus, Ivy, Opal… hell, even me, we’ve all got tough skin. People at the Institute like you, and they want to be your friend. And I damn well know Charlie wants to be more. All you have to do is let us in.”
I let my fingers wander over the keys. I heard the door creak open, and Oberi changed into his husky form, giving a bark.
Ezekiel said, “Hey, Charlie. Ava’s here.”
My heart skipped nervously. Charlie was leaning against the doorway. Oberi ran to him. He jumped up and down, and Charlie patted his head, clearly waiting for me.
I got up slowly and walked to him. Charlie cocked his head, and we crossed into the empty chapel next door. Charlie sat down in the nearest pew, and I sat across from him as Oberi lay on our feet.
Oh, ancestors, here it was. The,it’s not you, it’s metalk. I wasn’t ready for this in the slightest. My hands were sweaty, and I felt like I was going to hurl. No matter how many times I’d had this conversation with people, it didn’t get any easier.
Charlie took my hands. “Pidge, you all right?”
I’ve been better.I cleared my throat. “I don’t think I’m a debutante looking for a rich husband anymore, so I guess I’m good.”
Charlie let out a low laugh. “Well, you played the part well.”
“Spoiled rich girl really wasn’t a hard reach. Sad my brain didn’t pick something more interesting.”
“It was interesting enough.” Charlie squeezed my hands. “Were they able to help you?”
“I’m on a new medication. It’s going to be a few weeks before we know if it works.” I drew away. “Not like you’re going to stick around for that long.”
“Pidge, what are you talking about?” Charlie asked. Oberi gave a whine, and Charlie grabbed my hands again. “I want to be here.”
My throat got tight. “Even after you saw me like… that?”
“I figured it was going to happen someday. I just wish I was better prepared for it.”
“It’s hard to prepare for that,” I said quietly. I didn’t know how to do it myself.
“Can you recall anything when you’re in psychosis?”
“If I really force myself to think, I can somewhat remember minor details from when I’m delusional,” I said. “I’ll think in the third person, or I’ll see colors really brightly, or all my senses will be enhanced by a thousand.”
“And does this kind of thing happen… often?”
“It’s pretty rare. I’ve only had a few extreme hallucinations like that in my life. And most of the time, when I have a psychotic episode, they’re not really dangerous. It’s only been twice I’ve almost hurt myself— this time and the time with the chandelier, and I’ve never been violent or hurt anyone else. They’re always kind of scary for the people around me, because I’m not myself, but sometimes, they’re a bit funny.”
I gave a tiny giggle. “One time I thought I was a princess, and that my dad was my fairy godmother. I bugged him for hours to conjure me a pumpkin carriage with a pink pony. I wish I could remember it, because everyone said he was so annoyed. I bet it was hilarious to see.”
I made apshingsound. “My Uncle Jonah made a better fairy godmother, anyway. At least he had the dress to match.”
Charlie smiled. “Well, if you’re still interested in roleplay, I can be your Lord Henry.”
I laughed a little. He wasn’t being mean— more playful. “Only if you’ll wear the coat tails and nothing else.”
Charlie smirked. “Well, one thing that didn’t change in the slightest was you still loved to back talk.”
“I have a degree in sass,” I said smartly. “My snark comes out in all forms.”
“Is that why you tossed a fireball at Digger’s head?”
Kallie must’ve filled Charlie in on what that creep was bragging about earlier. I fell quiet.
Charlie rolled his thumbs over the back of my hands. “You still thinking about what he said?”
