We returned to the palace. Emma was exhausted, slumping onto my back. I made the run with vigor, feeling just as energized as I had been when I’d arrived.
I would prevent this from happening again. I would dosomething.
“You are a king, Ethan,” Emma murmured from my back— as if she had heard my very thoughts. “Not a god.”
“What we did today… it did not matter.”
“Itdidmatter. You gave them hope, and those that died, you gave them a bit of pride before the end,” Emma insisted.
“Those soldiers died for me,” I said bitterly.
“Not just you. For the hope of a free Malovia,” Emma said. “Do you think your cousin would’ve done what you did? Because Elijah didn’t care. Do you think Gabby is out there, comforting her soldiers and mourning the ones she lost? Because I can guarantee you she’s sitting comfortably in her fortress, letting her army suffer alone. She does not care how many soldiers she sacrifices, only if she wins. That’s the difference between you and her.”
My paws pounded against the dirt. I didn’t sound like myself as I said, “I thought that when I became king, I would have more… power,” I admitted. “But I am learning that even as a king, my power is limited. I cannot control the country, control others, control fate. I only truly have power over myself.”
“Then you must lead by example, so others can follow you,” Emma said. “I’ve seen that the faecanchange. We can be better. And I have hope that with you on the throne, people will want to make our world a peaceful one, because you’re teaching them how.”
I scoffed. “There is no talk of peace in the middle of war.”
“The war won’t go on forever,” Emma said. “And afterward… you’ll be the greatest king Malovia has ever known.”
“And you will be her greatest queen, a shining beacon to lead her through the years, evermore by my side,” I said, believing every word of it.
Emma remained quiet, and I assumed she was too tired to continue speaking. We entered the palace, and traveled up to the royal suites. Jasper walked out of a room, carrying a small box.
I hadn’t seen him in some time. He and Ozzie were both busy studying at the university, as fall semester had begun. Something I missed sorely, in harsh times like these. Failing a paper had seemed like the end of the world back then, but it was nothing compared to losing a battle.
“Hey, Jasper. We thought you’d be all moved out by now,” Emma said.
“Just taking the rest of Ozzie’s things to his dorm at Arcanea University,” Jasper said.
He dropped his gaze as he noticed the blood on our clothes. “I heard about the battle. I’m very sorry.”
“It was a hard loss, but we’ll manage,” I replied.
Jasper shuddered, and went pale. “It makes me sick, thinking of all those soldiers…”
He trailed off, before he bowed his head. “Anyway. I really am sorry. I’ll see you around.”
Jasper hurried off. Emma and I went straight to our suite, not interested in conversation with anyone else. After we washed and changed into clothes that were not bloodstained, Emma slipped off to bed.
I could not sleep, so I found myself wandering around the palace. I eventually ended up in a study near the barracks, where I found Alexei attempting to drink himself to death.
“That won’t help,” I told him as I took a seat beside the roaring fireplace.
He wasn’t drunk yet— it took a lot to intoxicate a shifter— but he was irritable all the same. He tossed another wine bottle down and said, “It dulls the sting.”
“Only until tomorrow.”
Alexei took another sip of wine, and Kiara walked in. Her mouth flattened at the sight of him, and she said, “You’ve been avoiding me.”
Alexei stared down at his goblet, and did not speak.
“We’ve talked about this,” Kiara said, sounding frustrated. “You can’t just isolate yourself from me when you’re feeling overwhelmed.”
Alexei didn’t say anything in response, and Kiara’s attention flickered to me. “How are you, Ethan?”
“I’ve been better,” I noted.
