“I have to. I won’t be able to go forward with my destiny, and do what needs to be done if I’m afraid you’ll fall to pieces after I’m gone. When it comes down to the moment where I’ll have to choose between saving the fae and staying with you, Ethan… if you’re not ready to let me go, I’m going to chooseyou, because I won’t have the strength to abandon my mate. Then the fae will be doomed, and we’ll have condemned our people.”
Ethan tightened his arms around me. “There has to be another way.”
“But what if there isn’t? This has to be your choice as much as mine. When the time comes—ifthe time comes— and I have to die to save Malovia, you have to be okay with that, and let me do it. Lately, I’ve been more concerned with how you’re going to handle my death rather than dealing with my own feelings over it.”
I took a deep breath. “And that’sscary, Ethan. I’m staring down this dark tunnel that’s coming for me, and I’m trying to make my peace with it. But I can’t, because I feel like you’re holding me back, not letting me go down that way. I feel this is the path the gods have asked me to walk. I’m going to follow what they have destined for me… unless you ask me not to. Don’t fight against it kicking and screaming. Support me, because I can’t do this on my own. This is the hardest part of my prophecy, and my disease. Because I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid of leaving you behind.”
Ethan broke into tears. He swept a hand through my hair, and pressed his lips to my head as he spoke. “How could you stare death in the face and think of me, and not yourself?”
“Because I want you to go on without me. Death will be peaceful.”
“But we will be parted. You will be in the Great Hunting Grounds and I will be here, forced to live without you until my dying day. You asked me once to put you before Malovia, and I did so. Now you’re asking that I change my mind, and put our country before you once more?”
“We will be together in the realm of the gods one day.”
“And yet I will have to endure years of loneliness before that time. Is that what you’re asking me to do?”
“Yes.” I cupped a hand to his face, and wiped his tears away. “It’s the hardest thing I’ve asked you to go through, but what other choice do we have? I can feel death coming… like a specter that’s creeping over my skin, just waiting for me to fall into his arms with every day that passes. With every hour, I take a step closer. And I’m ready for him— that is, if you’re willing to accept that this prophecy might be my end.”
“What do you want?” His eyes flashed amethyst, and once again, I caught a glimpse of that strange magic he had inside of him that we weren’t able to place.
“I want you to be happy, Ethan. I want you to move on, and have a good life, even if I’m not there. It’s my only wish. You can’t spend the rest of your life locked away because I’m gone. What will that do to the country, and my memory? Life is short and fleeting for all of us. Spending your days miserable at my demise isn’t a sign of love, Ethan, it’s a way to dishonor the person I was. If you spend the years wasting away because of my death, you aren’t showing that you loved me, you’re fighting over what was inevitable. The best way to acknowledge my sacrifice, even if it’s hard, is to have a life worth living.”
“Is this what you wish from me?” he whispered.
“Yes. If I’m gone, don’t squander the days you have grieving my absence. Use that time to preserve what I treasured, and to fight for the causes I believed in. There will still be a lot of work to do after this war is over. You’ll be able to make a difference as king. I ask that you carry on, and do the work that I won’t be able to.”
“I feel if I try to be happy after your death, I’m betraying you. That perhaps I did not love you as much as I thought,” Ethan said, almost fearfully.
“Love doesn’t hold on so tightly to what’s not there, and you’re putting me in a cage. My spirit isn’t free to fly if you’re refusing to accept my passing,” I said. I rubbed his shoulder, trying to get him to see sense. “Of course you love me. I know you do, and I will know that you love me after I’m gone.”
Ethan took a heavy breath. “Then this I vow to you. I will accept your sacrifice, and if it comes to it, I will not get in the way of your destiny, or try to prevent whatever is coming, if you’re truly fated for it. If you die, I will move on. I will honor your memory and continue to fight for what you believed was right. And somehow, I’ll find some sort of semblance of happiness in this life, until we meet again in the Great Hunting Grounds.”
“That’s all I ask of you,” I hushed. I kissed him, because I was truly thankful for the gift he was giving me. We didn’t know what was ahead of us, but at least now I knew if the worst came to pass, Ethan would go on. It left me free to follow whatever destiny had in store.
I broke the kiss, and stood up. I walked to the edge of the spring, and unclipped my cloak. “Well, no matter how much time I have left, days or years, I want to live every second of it. Might as well start now.”
“Emma!”
Ethan’s alarm was apparent, but I didn’t listen. I jumped into the spring, and sank underwater. The icy water felt like daggers scraping across my skin, puncturing my lungs and heart. It was uncomfortable— almost painful.
But I reveled in it. It was something I’d never done. Exhilaration ran through my veins at the feeling of being suspended within the freezing reverence. My dress floated outward in the water, billowing around me as if I were a ghost. I closed my eyes and hovered there for a second, feeling every sharp sensation of the cold and savoring it, because I knew I wouldn’t be mortal forever. Someday, my life would come to an end. I accepted it. I accepted death.
But not yet. I wanted to experience life as much as I could, before that time came.
Ethan plunged in after me. I opened my eyes. His body stiffened as he hit the water, before he grabbed my arm and hauled me to the surface.
Our heads broke the water. Ethan’s voice was strained as he choked out, “You’re going to kill me, woman!”
I was laughing as we pulled ourselves onto the snowy bank. It was so cold, my body was shaking. I summoned a portal as we got to our feet, and dragged him through it.
We appeared back in our warm bedroom. Our soaking wet clothes fell to the floor as we ripped them off each other, going from clothed to naked in an instant. My chilled skin began to heat as Ethan raked his lips over my bare shoulders. He threw me on the bed, then opened my legs wide as he dove in to savor my taste.
My wet hair splayed back on the pillows, and I cried out as Ethan dove his tongue inside of me, swirling his tongue around my core and the outside of my sacred place. I tangled my hands in his hair and pushed his head down, wanting more. Ethan put two fingers inside of me, and caressed my g-spot as he sucked my clit into his mouth.
I came, my head going dizzy as my back arched, pushing upward into his mouth. When the waves had finally drawn to a close, I got up, and Ethan flipped onto his back. I sank down onto his dick, and he let out a soft moan as I began riding him fast and hard.
There were so many sensations. My body was both cold from the spring, and blazing from the sex. Ethan’s fingers pinched and twisted my hard nipples as I fucked him, and it left the both of us wanting more. I sank down deeper, taking him in all the way. Ethan grabbed my hips as he thrusted up, giving a drawn-out growl of satisfaction, his form shuddering as he came inside of me.
