“What are you talking about, sweetie?” Mama’s brow furrowed.
I bit my lip. The anticipation of diving off a cliff filled me, and I knew once I spoke up, there’d be no turning back.
Do you want to tell them?Charlie asked the question gently against my mind.
I think it’s time.I was tired of hiding my past from everyone. It would’ve scared me to reveal my biggest secret to my parents before. After it’d happened, I’d sworn to myself they’d never know.
But I had Charlie here with me. That made me brave. I wouldn’t be able to do this on my own.
“Do you… do you remember when I asked you if I could stay home my senior year?” I started. My throat got tight, and at the same time, my heartbeat raced in my chest.
“Yes. We found it so odd.” Mama glanced at Daddy. “You loved school and cheerleading. But we know you missed Monica so much.”
“I did, but that’s not the only reason,” I began. “There was that bonfire after Monica died that I went to. You probably forgot about it.”
“I don’t think so,” Daddy said. “You seemed very upset when you came back home. We just thought you were grieving, so we let you have your space.”
“But we knew something was off,” Mama said.
So they had noticed something. I wasn’t as good at covering shit up as I thought. “I’d just gotten back from the women’s shelter.”
“Why would you need to go there?” Mama asked.
“Because I had to get a rape kit done.”
Ancestors, I’d never felt a silence like that in my life. It invaded my bones and completely ravaged me of any personal space. Mama leaned back against the couch and put a hand over her mouth— like she was fighting to keep her real reaction concealed. Daddy’s face had gone completely white. My dad wasn’t old, but I worried how this news would affect his health, because the words I’d spoken made him go gaunt.
I almost regretted telling them. They looked so hurt.
Charlie came over. He knelt by the armchair and took my hand. Oberi jumped off the couch to place his head on my lap, giving a tiny whimper.
“Oh, ancestors, Ava, what happened?” Mama had tears in her eyes. She leaned forward and grasped my other hand.
I had to blink rapidly to keep from crying myself. “I… it was John Smith. He got me alone in the woods, where he proceeded to do what he wanted to me. I didn’t have my magic yet, so I couldn’t fight back.”
Mama dropped her head, like she’d been defeated. But where her reaction was subdued, Daddy completely lost it.
Daddy leapt right up. He began pacing around the room, his hands balled into shaking fists as he raged, “How dare that son-of-a-bitch violatemy daughter! This bastard needs to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law! I’ll kill him with my bare hands if I have to!”
I winced, and my husband stepped in. “Please,” Charlie pleaded. “We need to focus on Ava right now.”
Daddy’s face fell. Though I could tell it took him a great deal of self-control, he slowly sank back down on the couch, though this time, he was closer to Mama. “Okay. I’m listening.”
“I’ll never forget the woman at the shelter. Mia was so kind. I was just falling apart, and she was doing everything she could to help me,” I blurted. “I was— dirty, and just covered in blood, and she remained so calm. I don’t know how she did it.”
“It’s over now. You don’t have to go through that ever again,” Charlie said, and he squeezed my fingers.
Mama sharply grasped Daddy’s arm. Recognition crossed her features, like she knew Mia’s name. I didn’t quite get the gesture, but Daddy nodded, telling her he understood.
“After I did the kit, I just… went home. I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t say anything, didn’t tell anyone.” I was speaking too fast, like I had the habit to do. My bipolar was beginning to flare. I hoped they could understand what I was saying. “I think Josee guessed, and when Uncle Jonah visited a couple weeks ago, he told me he’d figured it out, but didn’t say anything because he wanted me to be ready to talk…”
I gave a loud sniff. “I didn’t say a word about it for two long years. It was like if I acted like it didn’t happen, it’d go away. But it didn’t. Then I got so close to Charlie so quickly, and he was the first person I told…” I wiped at my face.
“I’m glad you did, pidge. It helped you heal,” Charlie said, and he rubbed my back with his free hand.
“It did.” Ancestors, I couldn’t keep the tears down now. They were overwhelming me. “After I said something to him about it, I felt like I had to tell my friends, then I really wanted to tell Ez—”
“Oh, ancestors. Ez.” Daddy ran a hand through his hair. He lookedhorrified.
