I prayed that Ava’s chest would rise and fall… but she was completely still.
Everyone else had gone so silent that there might as well have not been anyone else in the room. There was just me, Ava, and our Familiar.
“Pidge,” I whispered. “I know you’re out there somewhere, and I hope to the Great Spirit you can hear me. I’m not letting you go. I can’t. You’re my love, in this life and the next, but Iwill notmove on to the next life without living this one with you. I have never loved anyone the way I love you. In this life, I don’t need to see, because you have been my eyes. I used to think all there was to life was surviving, but you showed me differently. You make me see the world in a way I never have before. If you’re gone, I’ll be shrouded in darkness forever. A year wasn’t enough time with you. I don’t care if it’s selfish to want you for myself. I’ll damn the whole world if it means bringing you back. You’re stubborn as hell, pidge. You’re not going out this easily. I don’t care how much the Great Spirit wants you. You’re part of my soul, and I firmly believe there’s no power greater than the love and connection we share. You’re coming back to me. You have to—”
Sobs broke from my chest, and I could no longer find the words. Oberi nudged his wet nose into my face, and I cried even harder. I could feel his sorrow bleeding through the bond and sinking through my gut.
“Oberi, please,” I begged. “There has to be something we can do— a ritual, magic. Something to bring her soul back to mine. We’re not supposed to be separated like this.”
Oberi drew a deep breath. An emotion I couldn’t pinpoint broke through the sorrow. It was clearly something Oberi wasn’t sure he wanted to share with me.
You know something, don’t you?I accused through our bond.Oberi, if there’s anything we can do, we need to do it now.
He was silent for a moment before guilt crossed our connection.There is one thing,he admitted solemnly.But it’s quite risky.
“I don’t care!” I growled, lifting my head. “Do it!”
You don’t understand, Oberi replied.My magic is not meant to be used in cases like this. Ava-Marie is gone. She’s in the Ancestral Lands and at peace. If you rip her out of the afterlife and bring her back here, she’s not going to come back the same.
I don’t care. Bring her back!
You don’t understand the consequences. If I do this, I’m playing God,Oberi emphasized.We don’t die until it’s our time, the time that we have decided and the time that is written. That is our fate. If Ava’s dead, it’s her time to go. If we bring her back, the timeline of destiny will be altered permanently. We’ll be messing with her fate, and the fate of others.
I don’t believe that, I told him.Her prophecy said otherwise. She isn’t meant to die today. She needs to come back.
This magic can only be done once,Oberi said.But I cannot force Ava to return. She has to make a choice to come back.If she doesn’t want to return to her mortal life, she’ll remain in the Ancestral Lands, and I’ll have used up all my magic. That means that if you die, Charlie, I can never bring you back.
I don’t give a fuck!I screamed in my mind. Why was Oberi being like this? Didn’t hewantAva here with us?
One of you needs to remain alive to fulfill the prophecy, Oberi pointed out.You were supposed to stop Ava from fulfilling hers. Now that she’s not here, you can fulfill your piece without her getting in the way, and save the Elves.
“Screw the prophecy!” I screamed out loud. “I’m not going to live without her. If Ava-Marie is gone for good, so am I. I’ll kill myself to be with her!”
Several people in the room gasped loudly, and Marcus stepped in. “No, Charlie. You can’t!”
“Of course I can!” I cried. “And I fucking will!”
“Don’t think that way!” Marcus protested. “Do you have any idea what you’re saying— any idea how much pain you’re imposing upon yourself—?”
“I’m already in pain!” I yelled. “And I’ll gladly kill myself to end it.”
“This isn’t the easy answer you think it is,” Marcus snapped back.
“You don’t know! You’ve never lost someone like I just did—”
“Yes, Idid!” Marcus screamed. “I tried to end it, too. More than once. And it never goddamn worked. I didn’t share a soul with Anya, but you better believe I know what the hell you’re going through. I have enough experience to know that killing yourself isn’t the answer. If the gods don’t want it to happen, it won’t.”
My blood turned to ice. Marcus had never admitted he was suicidal before. But… knowing everything he’d gone through, I couldn’t say I was surprised.
Kallie’s soft footsteps approached. She sounded emotional as she said, “Marcus… I had no idea you went through that. I’m so sorry. I wish I could’ve been there for you then.”
“It’s not your fault,” Marcus said.
“I’m just…soglad you’re alive,” Kallie told him, before turning to me. “And I’m gladyou’rehere, Charlie. And I hope to the gods you stay. Ava’s gone. We already lost her. We can’t lose you, too. Please.”
Fuck this. I refused to live in a world where thegodsdetermined our fate. I was a goddamn demigod, and I was taking control over mine.
“Do it, Oberi,” I commanded.
