“Some of us wouldn’t be,” her husband said, and he wiped the tear away. “No matter how we could’ve done things differently, it wouldn’t have changed anything. Someone always had to die.”
“And Emma wouldn’t have survived.” Odette closed her eyes. “Not in any circumstance.”
I went to walk out of the room. Before I could, Stefan strode forward and grabbed my shoulder. “Ethan, wait.”
I nearly attacked him. His comforting touch was like fiery iron being pressed to my skin. I did not like it. I did notwant it. “What?”
“You can’t keep going on like this,” Stefan insisted. “She wouldn’t have—”
“What would you have me do?” I responded harshly. “My wife isdead.”
Stefan’s hand slowly dropped from my shoulder, and he stared at me. He had no words to give.
I couldn’t stand around and talk about this anymore. I left them all without a goodbye.
I wanted to return to Emma’s body, but I had a filthy longing to be alone, and I couldn’t sit vigil at her grave while bearing the brunt of her father’s grief alongside my own. I wandered the halls of the cathedral aimlessly, avoiding the high priestesses who offered a listening ear. By the gods, I was just looking for some peace.
I heard Finlay ahead, talking in a low voice to Amantha. I knew if he saw me he’d try to bolster my spirits, and I couldn’t handle that right now, so I took the other way around.
I found myself wandering the stairs downward, to the crypts below the cathedral. By the entrance, there was already an empty space in the wall prepared for Emma’s internment.
I hated it.
I ended up at my father’s grave. I stared up at the statue that held his visage and found no comfort. Tygrys fluttered to the top of the statue and stood on its head. I knelt before the outlet that contained my father’s casket, putting my head to the cool stone and pleading that someone would hear me.
“Father, please,” I begged. “Don’t let me go through this alone. Intercede on my behalf to the gods that my existence ends now, so I do not continue to be this shell of a man. If not, then show me the way to restore what I have lost. Do not watch as I continue to be lost in my misery, no matter how much I deserve it. If I was ever your son, and you still have love for me in your heart, then please… give me a way out of this.”
I opened my eyes and withdrew my head from the stone. I fell backward, jaw open in surprise as I realized that I was kneeling across from my father.
He hovered in the air as a spirit, dressed in all the finery of a king. His body was whole, and his countenance was gracious as he stared at me from above. I thought I’d forgotten what my father looked like, but seeing him now, it was like he’d been committed to my memory. Every line in his face was identical. Even his bold spirit took up the room, as it had in life.
“It’s you,” I gasped out. I couldn’t believe this apparition of King Lycus had appeared here… why now, after I’d begged for him to come to me before, and he’d never answered?
He said nothing, but jerked his head, as if giving me an indication to follow him. I staggered to my feet, then rushed after him. Tygrys zoomed beside me. My father led me out of the crypts and into another hallway of the cathedral, where he drifted up a set of stairs. I took them two at a time, following the spirit of my father to the second floor of the cathedral, which was a loft that overlooked the main sanctuary. I was unable to rip my eyes away from my father’s spectral form for even a moment… save for when we passed overhead the area where Emma lay, and I had to take a painstaking glance down.
My father emitted a gruff noise, as if to capture my attention. I averted my eyes from my mate and continued to follow him down the hall, where he hovered before a door. He locked eyes with me before vanishing there, leaving the surrounding area cold.
I opened the door. It led to the cathedral’s library, which held old tomes that the sorceresses used to perform religious rites. Inside the library was Arthur, pulling books off the shelves and setting them on an oak desk.
I blinked. Why would my father lead me to Arthur? I didn’t understand.
I observed his spindly form, which was hunched and weary. He had a black eye from where I’d hit him. I was truly sorry I couldn’t remember.
Forgetting things, seeing spirits… I was starting to think I’d gone insane. Maybe I had, and this was all some grand delusion.
If Emma was still alive somewhere, I welcomed it. I wanted to be mad, if it meant she breathed.
Arthur noticed me hovering in the doorway. “Oh, Ethan. I didn’t see you there. Sorry. You’re… well, you have a talent for sneaking up behind.”
I flinched, and Arthur realized what he’d said. His cheeks flushed red as he hurried to say, “I’m just going through the cathedral’s library. The high priestesses might have something that’s important to Kalina’s…”
He shook his head. “Anyway. That’s not important right now. We’ve got years, really.”
His haggard look was one I shared. I’d never felt closer to my brother-in-law. If anyone in this world knew how broken I was, it was Arthur. He, too, had lost a mate. And now, a sister.
I entered the room and closed the door behind me. “I figured you would’ve brought them back by now.”
Arthur swallowed a visible lump in his throat. “I took a portal to the United States just this morning, and paid a visit, though Mum is refusing to bring them back to Europe.”
