“I’m surprised you got anything out of him. Charlie’s so quiet,” Opal said.
I smirked. “Not in bed.”
Kallie laughed, before she stood up. “Well, girls, as much as I’d love to continue this conversation, I’ve got somewhere to be. See you tonight, Ava.”
Opal’s cheerful disposition had suddenly dissolved into nerves. She wrung her hands under the table. When Kallie strode off, she asked, “Ava, can I talk to you?”
“Sure. What is it?” I asked. She must’ve wanted to talk to me about whatever this was for a long time, if she was this anxious.
Ivy sat back and remained silent, sipping at a cup of tea. Opal took in a short, quick breath. “Don’t take this the wrong way. I know this is really awkward, but… how did you and Charlie manage to…?”
“Do it?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah. You know, after… somebody hurt you.” She dropped her gaze.
I was already aware of what she was getting at. Opal had killed her father after he’d molested her for years; it’s what had gotten her sent to the Institute. The abuse had created a child, her daughter, Marina. Opal had to have good behavior here at the prison if she wanted to see her child after graduation. In the meantime, she was dating Ez, and she didn’t seem to know how to take things further.
Opal blushed. “Ez is your brother, so it’s kind of weird—”
“No, it’s fine. He wouldn’t mind, and neither do I,” I said. “You haven’t done anything?”
“No. We just kiss.” Her lip trembled.
“But you want more.”
“Kind of?” She twisted her fingers around each other. “I don’t know. I thought I’d never be okay with it after everything that happened, but Ez makes me curious. The feelings are different.”
“Of course they are. Sex comes from a place of love and trust. There isn’t any fear or pain attached to it,” I said. “It’s not the same, Opal. Trust me.”
“But how’d you get over it?” she pleaded.
“I didn’t, really. I just wanted to feel special and loved. Charlie didn’t make me feel like I had to protect myself. I can be intimate and vulnerable with him because sex is something I’m participating in, not something I’m being forced into. It’s a choice out of mutual love.”
She nodded slowly. “Does it hurt?”
“For me, it feels good. It’s not painful. I don’t know how comfortable it’ll be for you, but you should take things at your own pace.”
She twirled a strand of blue hair around her finger. “I’m so ashamed. Ez and I have been together almost as long as you and Charlie have, and we’re not even close to taking clothes off.”
“Don’t feel bad that things haven’t progressed as quickly with you guys. Charlie and I are… different in a lot of ways. You don’t have to do anything until you’re ready.”
“Iamready,” Opal said in frustration. “But I’m scared, too.”
“You don’t have to go straight from kissing to sex. There are other things you can do first, to build trust,” I pointed out.
Opal put her arms around her torso and squeezed tight. “It’s just… I love my daughter, and I’d like more kids someday. I think Ez would be a really good dad.”
“I do too.” Probably one of the best.
“I hope you don’t think I’m moving too fast,” she said quickly.
“No. I know how you feel about him.”
I leaned in and dropped my voice. “Do you want to know a secret? I tried to force myself to do it with Charlie, because I knew he was the Elven heir and that he needed descendants for the throne. So I thought if I made myself do it, I could just get it over with, but he was the one who held us back, because he knew we both weren’t ready. You and Ez have a long time to think about kids. What’s important is that you get in touch with your own feelings, and trust yourself. Your judgment is the most important thing you have in this situation. You have the power to decide how much to trust him with, and how much to give him, at your own pace. This is all up to you, Opal. Not anyone else, and that includes the people you choose to sleep with… or not.”
Ivy smiled slightly. It was the same advice he’d given me, long ago, and it had seriously changed my life.
“I’d like to share my body with him. But it seems overwhelming.” Opal chewed on her lip.
