“I think you know,” I said playfully. “But, yes. I can’t feel as much as I used to, yet it’s still enjoyable, and that’s what counts.”
“I’m glad. It’s good that we tried.”
We were quiet for several long minutes. At first, I figured he was just enjoying the moment, relieved that this hadn’t been ruined for us, as I was.
But I could sense there was something else weighing on his mind as the seconds ticked by. Curiosity demanded that I know. I did my best to roll myself over, so I could face him. "What are you thinking about?"
He swallowed, as if he was nervous. "This is a weird thing to bring up, but… I feel guilty about lying to you."
My chest tightened with all kinds of horrible possibilities. "About what? Did you not like it—?"
"It's nothing like that," he said immediately. "I loved what we did, really. Just… please don't be mad."
I was starting to panic, but I kept my voice even as I asked, "What's going on?"
"Do you remember when I told you that I slept with twelve women when I was trying to get off the streets?"
"Yeah," I said, vaguely remembering. "That was so long ago."
"I wasn't really being truthful. It actually… there were so many women it got to the point I stopped counting. I don't know how many women I've been with."
He sounded embarrassed. I reached out to grasp his fingers. “I don’t care about that. It’s all in the past. You’re with me now, so that’s all that matters.”
“I should’ve just been withyou.” He sounded frustrated. “I wish it would’ve been possible for that to happen. I didn’t just put myself at risk. I gambled with your health, too.”
“I mean, youcould’vegiven me something, but you didn’t, so it’s not a big deal.”
“I didn’t take that chance. I got tested before I even touched you.”
“When did you do that?”
“Over winter break, right after the Darke Games.”
I blinked. “That’s news to me.”
“I really liked you. I thought if there was a possibility we’d hook up once you got back, I wanted to make sure I was safe for you to mess around with.”
He sighed and fisted a hand in his hair. "I tried to lie and come up with a number that I thought was low, and then I felt even worse once I said it, because twelve was the lowest number I could come up with.”
“It’s no good to shame yourself for decisions you made in the past.”
"I used to hate sex. It was never fun," he said. "I couldn't understand why everyone acted like it was so enjoyable. Then you came along, and you just… you make me so happy.”
His voice was choked, like he hadn’t been able to understand what happiness was before, because he’d been so sad all his life. Now that it was here, it was almost overwhelming to him.
I understood. Something had always been missing for me, too, until he showed up.
“We make each other happy,” I said, and I snuggled into his front. “I don’t care what you did before. As long as I have you now, that’s all I’ll ever need.”
* * *
My mood was much uplifted as we headed to our demigod lesson the next evening. We’d woken up that morning and had gotten right back to what we’d been doing last night.
Bliss couldn’t describe it; it was paradise, an escape from everything that had gone wrong. Being together felt like righting our wrongs and getting things back to how they should be.
Charlie definitely had a brighter spring in his step as we wandered toward Hemlock’s secret room, and I had a permanent smile on my face that couldn’t be misplaced. The world would right itself again, so long as everything was well between Charlie and me.
On our way, we heard a bit of discontented mewling. Kallie was pushing Rishi in a baby carriage she’d conjured with illusion magic. The cat was wearing a big blue ribbon around his neck and a baby bonnet. He appeared quite surly as she cheerfully wheeled him beside us. Oberi flew around the carriage in a tizzy, ruffling her phoenix feathers and chuckling.
