“You’re the one giving up,” Marcus sneered.
“Marcus, you aren’t eventrying,” Kallie stated firmly. “We haven’t made any progress in our relationship— and don’t act like fooling around is progress. If anything, it hurts even more. Do you understand how fucking shitty it feels to be intimate with you, then just gather my shit and leave instead of staying the night? You didn’t evensayanything the last time. After it was done, you just let me walk out!”
“For fuck’s sake, Kallie, it’s not like we’ve slept together!”
“I don’t care if we haven’t had sex. By this point, we’ve done everything else, and it still means something.”
Marcus let out a scathing sound of disgust. “Well, you fucked Scarlet, so I guess you would know.”
“How dare you throw that in my face. We weren’t together, so I don’t know why you’re upset.”
“Because we’re mates! I’m still pissed you did that.”
“We’resupposedto be mates, but we aren’t, so why does it matter who I sleep with?”
Kallie wasn’t even yelling at him anymore. She was too upset to do much of anything but protest and cry.
Ava grabbed my hand, her unease growing through our bond. This was hard to watch for both of us, but we had to let them have it out.
Marcus sighed. “I just don’t get why you want to be withme.”
“BecauseI love you,” Kallie urged. “I love the way you express yourself through art. I admire that about you, because I can’t express myself the way you can. I have to be so tough all the time, because that’s what the world expects from me, but you’re such a gentle person. You soften me up.”
I could understand that. It was one of the reasons Ava and I worked so well together. I was a guy who had a pretty cold exterior, but Ava could melt me with just one touch. When I was with her, I could just beme. I knew Marcus was that for Kallie.
“You teach me how to see things from a compassionate perspective when I’m being too hard-headed,” Kallie continued. “Nobody gets me like you do. Being at the Institute was hard, and there were times when you were the only thing holding me together. But ever since we broke out, it’s likeyou’rethe one tearing me apart. Sometimes I wish we’dstayedthere, because at least things wouldn’t be different now.”
“They’re not all that different,” Marcus muttered.
“And that’s a problem!” Kallie insisted. “Theyshouldbe different. We should be a couple. When things are good, Marcus, they’re really fucking good. You surprise me with gifts, and even though we’re not technically dating, you take me on thebestdates. And when you go down on me… holy hell. It’s momentslike that when I know you really care. Sometimes, things will be really good between us, and I’ll think everything is perfect.”
She blew out a breath. “But gods, when it’s bad, it’s fucking awful. We’ll have these big heated moments where you think I’m going to leave, and I promise you I won’t, but I can’t seem to convince you otherwise. You won’t let me in, no matter how hard I try to help you. I’m justso sickof having this fight. It’s really easy to see who you care about, because you’re always there for them. I love how much you care about people, yet when it comes to me… you either care too much, or not at all.”
“I care more than you know,” Marcus said harshly. He wasn’t being kind; he was being defensive.
“If you care so much, then show me,” Kallie begged. “I love you so damn much, but I’m terrified you can’t say the same, because it seems you only want me around to torture yourself.”
Ava’s grip tightened on my hand, and the tension in the air grew. We were both terrified of where this argument might end, and yet nothing we could do could stop what needed to be said.
“Maybe Iamtortured,” Marcus spat. “The view you have of me is false. I’m not this kind, noble guy you talk about. I’m just Marcus Taylor— some nobody theater geek who was smoking weed in his bedroom while you were being a princess by day and assassin by night. Before you got to the Institute, you were making the world a better place. I’ve donenothingwith my life. One day you’re going to wake up and realize that. Eventually you’re going to get sick of me, and someone better will come along. It’s easier to prepare myself for the disappointment.”
I understood feeling inadequate, but Kallie was right. Whether Marcus realized it or not, he was doing this to punish himself, and he’d let that consume him to the point where he was only thinking about how to protect his feelings. Kallie desperately wanted to be with him, and he couldn’t seethat’swhat would make her happy. He was afraid to be happy withher, so he deliberately made them both miserable by pushing her away.
I’d made the choice to let Ava go because I loved her. Marcus wanted to keep Kallie in this limbo state where he could claim her as his own without ever having to take responsibility. That wasn’t a relationship. It was a prison.
Kallie blew a breath in disbelief. “I’m so tired of being your fucking idol. I’m not some god to be worshiped; I’m just a woman who wants to be loved! You’re not preparing yourself for disappointment, Marcus. You’re already disappointed— constantly! You’re making it worse by expecting the worst. It shouldn’t matter if you lose me. What matters is if we’re togethernow. You’re so afraid of losing me in the future that you don’t even want to try. You need me, but you’re not willing to give me whatIneed.”
The passion surging between their bond grew in intensity. Magic pulsed back and forth across their spiritual tether so fast that it was making me dizzy.
You aren’t really going to break their bond, are you?Ava worried telepathically.
My stomach hollowed.I don’t want to, but it isn’t my decision. It’s Kallie’s. And this isn’t fair to her. She doesn’t consent to being in this relationship against her will, and I’m not going to violate that.
Ava understood deeply. So deeply, she didn’t object further.
“Because I’m just so inadequate, aren’t I?” Marcus sneered. “No matter what I do, I’m always going to be living in your shadow.”
“You’re being a coward,” Kallie spat.
