“Being a royal becomes you, the longer time passes,” Emma stated. “I can’t imagine not living this life now, but there was a time when I was younger where I really had to weigh if this was what I wanted.”
“How did you deal with the pressure?”
“I had a great many mentors who believed in me,” Emma said. “And I wanted to change things in Malovia for the better, no matter what the cost. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do that unless my mate and I were the ones in charge. The fae are a stubborn people— but I’m worse. I was determined to set things right and get my way. And in the twenty years that my husband and I ruled, we certainly pushed things in the right direction.”
“People say you’re the greatest fae queen there ever was,” I whispered in near awe.
Emma scoffed. “They certainly didn’t talk like that when I was first crowned.”
“You moved an Elven city from Edinmyre to Earth. That’s an incredible feat.”
“Perhaps. It’s not that impressive. It’s just what had to be done.”
I wasn’t buying it. No other fae on this planet would be able to do that but Emma. She’d accomplished something amazing, and no matter how high the queen’s standards were, she was more powerful than I had anticipated her being.
“It’s still a big deal,” I stated. “I can’t imagine anyone going up against you.”
“Anything worth doing is going to meet with opposition, and quite frankly, the fae are assholes,” Emma replied. “They worship menow, but it took years of ruling with grit and iron to get them to see things like I did. I was never cruel, but I wasn’t going to allow hatred and bigotry to exist in Malovia if I had something to say about it.”
“I want to be like that.” I leaned closer. “I want to be a good Empress, someone people talk about for ages after I’m gone.”
“Consider yourself lucky— you already have an advantage. The Elves nearly consider you a deity, so they’ll be easily persuaded. But that’s a heavy responsibility in itself. You’re young, so you’re going to make mistakes. All rulers do. The best advice I can give you is to think of the world before yourself. And don’t make a move until you’re certain your orders are going to help more people than they hurt… because someonealwaysgets hurt at the end of the day, Ava. You can’t prevent that as a princess. Only try to mitigate the damage.”
“I don’t believe that,” I argued. “Charlie and I agreed we’re going to make a better world for everyone.”
Emma gave a thin smile. “You’ll learn.”
Oberi was begging for another sugar cube, rubbing her soft lips on Emma’s shoulder. She fed the unicorn another, then gave Tygrys a second spoon of honey. “My daughter told me about your… death, so to say, after your encounter in the Infernal Underground. Firstly, I would like to apologize. No one should have to go through such a thing. I should be the first one to know.”
I had heard the stories. “You went to the afterlife and returned too, didn’t you?”
Emma went slightly pale, but I didn’t see any other signs of her inward crumble. “I did. I had to imprison an evil entity on my quest, a very powerful dark creature. He wasn’t easy to defeat. Putting him back in his grave took my life, as my prophecy had foretold.”
“Yet your gods allowed you to return.”
“They did. Someone I loved very much took my place.” She gave a sad smile. “I had to leave them behind, as well as my goddess, Milonna. I haven’t seen her since I departed the fae afterlife, the Great Hunting Grounds, and I miss her dearly.”
“Why’d you come back if the Great Hunting Grounds were so wonderful?”
“I returned for my husband. I wanted to live a full life with him, and I felt cheated that I hadn't been given that.”
“But you came back,” I said. “Just like me.”
“Yes.” She nodded. “But I didn’t come back the same.”
I got it. Probably a little too well. “I wish others could understand. I’ve tried to make them get it, but they can’t.”
“Because no one will ever be able to comprehend what we’ve been through except each other,” Emma told me. “You and I are the only ones I know of that have been to the land of the dead, existed amongst themasthe dead, then returned to life on Earth. It’s not enough to merely visit the spiritual realm and understand what it’s like. You give up yourself as you die. Yoursoul becomes different. So walking amongst the living afterward, who have no idea what that experience is like, feels… empty.”
I fiddled with my teacup. “Marcus said his parents visited one of the afterlives during their quest.”
“Yes, but visiting it as a living person and being a part of it as a deceased individual isn’t the same,” Emma noted. “You and I both thought we were there to stay once we arrived, and then we had to leave. It’s confusing to our souls, not to mention our mortal bodies remember dying, and what it’s like to be dead. So it feels off to be living and breathing. Though we’re happy to be alive, we’re also sad we’re not… there.”
Ancestors, she understood exactly how I felt. “Being in the Ancestral Lands… it was the most unconditional kind of love,” I said. “I’ve never experienced anything like it. I love others, and others love me, but nothing comes close to that feeling of peace and complete acceptance on the other side. And I was fine— it was the people back on Earth grieving me who weren’t.”
My throat constricted. “I came back because of Charlie. I definitely would’ve stayed in the Ancestral Lands if he hadn’t called for me.”
Emma nodded. “The things we do for our mates. You have a soul bond with Charlie as well. Though from what I understand, it goes deeper than other bonds I’ve heard of.”
