“Because I’m afraid of what’s coming,” I said. “We don’t know what’s out there waiting for us. Marriage is supposed to be forever. What if something happens to tear us apart?”
“Then we’ll fix it,” Charlie replied simply.
“I’m not afraid of getting married. I’m afraid of losing you,” I said, and my throat choked up. “We got married at the Institute, but that was a legal ceremony, not a religious one. What we’re about to do is a vow to the ancestors and the goddesses. It secures our bond even more, so if we lose each other, it’s going to be that much more devastating. I’m terrified to declare my love for you, because someone could come along and take you from me because of it.”
“No one would ever do that, pidge,” Charlie promised. “There isn’t a god, demon, or man that could ever take me away from you.”
“But what if something happens that we can’t fix?”
“I don’t think it’s awhat if, but when,” Charlie said calmly. “People aren’t perfect. We make mistakes— you and I make a lot of them. But we always come back from it, no matter who or what comes to challenge us. I’m not afraid of anything except facing this world without you.”
My throat tightened at the confession, and I nearly started crying again, because that was exactly how I felt. “I’m not either. We can get through anything, as long as we’re together. I want this wedding— I wantyou. I know I do.”
“Then I’ll be waiting for you at the end of the aisle.” Charlie gave my hand one last squeeze before he stepped away. I counted his steps as he wandered out, already wanting to be at his side again. Oberi gave a soft coo as he left, but said nothing more.
I knew what I felt for Charlie couldn’t be wrong if I desired him this badly. He left me alone in the room, and I turned so I was facing a floor-to-ceiling golden mirror mounted on the wall.
I observed myself and had the thought I’d never looked so pretty. I stared into my eyes, realizing this was one of the greatest moments of my life, a chapter that would mark where the rest of my existence would go. After waiting for all these years, I was actually abride. It was insane to me. I had pictured this day in my mind for so long, and now, it was actually coming true. This felt like a dream I could wake up from any second.
As I took in my reflection, I realized I’d been letting my anxiety run the show, worrying myself with constant variables andwhat ifs. The story I was telling myself was overshadowing my love for Charlie, and I wouldn’t let that happen anymore.
Intuition is quiet.Oberi’s words came back to me, and I closed my eyes so I could just… feel.
There, underneath the worry and the fear of unexpected pain, was certainty. As I listened to my intuition, I felt an immensely deep sense of peace, and a complete knowing that this was the right choice. No matter how nervous I felt, or how many second thoughts I had, my intuition told me that this was what was always meant to be, and my fears were merely that… thoughts that couldn’t harm me, unless I let them. My mother was right. Trying to protect myself from pain would only make the pain worse, and though I knew that pain would come, I was certain there’d be much more happiness to experience than there ever would be sadness.
No fear of the future, or of what may happen, would separate Charlie and me. Whatever happened, we’d figure it out, and we’d do ittogether. Even if one day something awful came to pass and I regretted the choice I made, this marriage still wouldn’t be a mistake. We belonged to each other. I knew that in the deepestcore of my soul. My gut wasn’t telling me that this was wrong— it was telling me that this wasright.
Now all I had to do was follow my intuition, and take a leap of faith.
I took a few, calming breaths, collected my thoughts, and straightened my shoulders. I was ready.
A few moments later, Hemlock wandered in. She was carrying a book from the temple, an old tome that had been passed down through the centuries to marry royals within the Elvish temple. She was wearing the silver robes of a mystic and appeared brilliant. The bruises on her face had healed, so she resembled the professor I once knew…
Almost.
As she stood before me, Hemlock took a breath. “Oh, my dear. You are the grandest princess I ever did see on her wedding day.”
“Thanks.” I gave a soft smile. “All ready to go?”
“I came by to check on you before we begin,” Hemlock said. “Is there anything you need?”
“No.” I shook my head. “Just ready to get this show on the road.”
“Indeed.” Hemlock took me in again, then unexpectedly began to weep. It was sudden and heartbreaking to hear, although the tears barely lasted a moment or two.
“Professor, is there something wrong?” I asked in alarm. I knew people cried at weddings, but this seemed… different.
“Don’t worry about me, girl,” Hemlock said quickly, wiping at her eyes. “Nothing but silly tears from an old woman. I won’t bother you like this on your wedding day.”
“It’s not,” I demanded. “What’s wrong? I need to know you’re okay.”
Hemlock gave a quiet sniff. “It is merely… I wish my child had survived, so I could’ve seen her as a bride.”
A piece of my heart broke off. “Your child?”
“Over twenty years ago, I lost my daughter. She was around your age when she died. She was a student at Arcanea University, where I taught alchemy and enchanting,” Hemlock replied.
I felt that busted piece of my heart dissolve into dust at her pain. “What happened?”
