“Why do you think you’re responsible for the world?” Cassiel questioned. “Why is it on your shoulders to stop the suffering of everyone in it? You are only one woman.”
“Because I’mbetterthan everyone else,” I demanded. “I’m stronger, braver, more powerful. I’m willing to put more on the line and make choices others won’t. Other people don’t have the capability to change the world, butI do.You must understand. You’re an Emperor! You have enough power and soldiers at your command to make a true difference.”
Cassiel tilted his head. “Do you think I’m a bad person?”
I was shocked he’d ask. “Of course not,” I insisted. “You’re good.”
“But I’ve tortured and killed people,” Cassiel stated.
“That was to save the Elves.”
“Does that make it right because I had a goodreason?”
I couldn’t reply. It was hard to imagine Cassiel, soft and gentle as he was, being any sort of monster.
Though I knew he was. He’d done things in the dark that I probably couldn’t imagine. Things that I bet were far worse than what Charlie and I had ever committed.
“We’ve built a paradise in Ilamanthe, yes,” Cassiel added. “But don’t think it didn’t come at a cost. Some people had to suffer in order for us to get here. As much as you’d like to change the world, it won’t happen without someone getting hurt.”
I flattened my lips. “I’m sorry, Emperor, but I don’t believe you.” I stood firm in my belief, because no way was I bending on this one. “We can make a just world for everyone without having to make any sacrifices. Everyone can come with us, and everyone can benefit. We just have to find a way.”
Cassiel smiled. “Never change, my child. You are exactly what this world needs, even if you fail.”
“I don’t lose,” I told him with a smirk. “You’ll see.”
Cassiel laughed. “I never had to wonder why Charlie is so devoted to you. Even I, set in my ways as I am, feel inspired to call up a banner and join you.”
“He’s been different since he’s been in Ilamanthe,” I said. “You’ve changed him in such a wonderful way. Charlie hasn’t said so, but I know he really loves you.”
Cassiel’s eyes glimmered. “I hold deep affection for him as well. Although I would never say this to Cameron, my son and I never quite got along, even as he was growing up. He never wanted to take the job seriously. But in his stead, Charlie is everything I hoped for in a future Emperor. We are very much alike. I see myself as a young man in him. Just as I see so much of my wife in you.”
Cassiel raised my hand and kissed the back of it before he stood. “I am afraid I must be elsewhere, my dear. There are generals I must speak to about our next attack against The Mission. If you need me at any time, merely call, and I will come to you at once. You are the hope for Ilamanthe’s future, now.”
Cassiel’s elegant robe skimmed the grass as he left, and I let out a tired sigh before glancing at Marcus.
“I’ve got to go to the temple for mystic training, and I don’t think I can get there on my own,” I said wearily. “Push me?”
Marcus nodded. “Sure.”
I felt myself falling asleep in my chair as we left the gardens. The wedding had been great, but it had worn me out for days afterward. I still wasn’t fully recovered, but I couldn’t keep pushing off my mystic duties. I needed to go to the temple and try to contact the Elvish goddesses yet again… not that they’d managed to answer so far.
“You didn’t say much back there,” I grumbled as Marcus and I made our way back into the palace. “You could’ve helped me out a little.”
“I didn’t know whattosay,” Marcus stated. “I’m not sure what to believe, really.”
“You can’t be buying what Cassiel said,” I argued. “Suffering is achoice, one people choose to inflict on each other. Society just has to choose to stop hurting itself. Don’t you believe that?”
Marcus seemed thoughtful. “I don’t know, Ava. Kallie committed her entire life to stopping suffering in Malovia, and she nearly drowned in it. That was just one country. She would’ve lost her mind if she hadn’t been sent to the Institute while trying to take down all the bad in her nation. How do you think you can stop all the terrible things from happening all over theworld? It just isn’t realistic. You’ll go crazy before you manage it.”
“I don’t care,” I said stubbornly. “The rest of you just haven’t figured it out yet. I’m smart enough to find a way.”
The Great Mystic appeared impatient when I showed up at the temple doors, which was saying something for a five-hundred-year-old Elf.
“Princess, you were supposed to show up an hour ago,” the Great Mystic scolded.
Marcus hastily dipped out, not wanting to be yelled at himself.
“I’m sorry, Valindra. I was speaking with the Emperor,” I told her.
