“Your birth was traumatic, Ava, but I had wonderful births with all your other siblings. They came easily, without much pain at all. Birth can be frightening and painful, but for some, it can be simple, even pleasurable.”
“Like that’s going to happen for me, seeing as my lower half’s not working as it is,” I grumbled.
“This is a complicated birth due to your injury, and there may be struggles. But you’re powerful enough to get through this, because you’ve gotten through everything that’s come before. Trust yourself,” Mama said firmly. “We’re all here to support you, and who knows? This might be a fond memory of yours someday down the line, when all of this stops being so frightening. The sudden nature of it is what’s scary, Ava. But we’re Hawkei. We chase the unknown. It’s what you’ve always done your entire life. You go out searching for new experiences to enjoy, you find mountains, and you conquer them. Just think of this as a new exploration you get to take together with Charlie.”
That was a cool way of looking at it. Charlie came back with the ice chips, and I took them, popping one into my mouth. “Thank you.”
Charlie went to respond, but I grabbed his wrist when I realized the room around me had gone silent. Moments before, all I could hear beside our conversations were those incessant booms, rattling over Ilamanthe. Now, there was only… silence.
“Hold on a moment,” I said. “I don’t hear it.”
“Hear what?” Charlie asked.
“The explosions.”
Everyone in the room froze. We waited with baited breath, counting on the Warden’s next strike.
It never came. Holy shit.
“Did the shield drop?” I asked my mom.
“I don’t think so.” She pursed her lips, pausing to listen closer.
Nothing happened. When we didn’t hear the screams of civilians, the cries of battle or the sounds of the dying, I was finally able to take a breath.
“He’s stopped,” Charlie marveled.
Mama’s tone was triumphant. “He can’t get past Ava’s shield, even now.”
Ha. Fucking loser. Even after becoming a god, he still couldn’t best what I had been.
“If he can’t get through the shield, he can’t hurt us.” Charlie’s voice rang with some semblance of hope, and it gave me courage.
“There’s a hole in it, though,” I pointed out. “If he finds it, he can get through.”
“He hasn’t found it yet.” Charlie’s voice became victorious. “Maybe he won’t.”
“We’re going to run out of supplies eventually. The city only has enough resources to last us for a few more months. If he doesn’t get through the shield, he’s going to starve us out,” I replied.
“That’s a problem to solve later. Your shield has bought us some time.” Mama moved to braid back my hair. “You just focus on getting this baby out.”
Mama was right. My shield still stood. I didn’t know what the future held for any of us, especially between me and Charlie, but what was important was giving birth to this baby and making sure the three of us got through this.
Although… I was pretty damn good at pissing the Warden off. We were going to lose this war, and lose everything, that was for sure, but who said we had to make it easy on him? We couldn’t fight against a god, but we could give him one hell of a show on our way out. At least when he blew our corpses to pieces, he’d be irritated that we hadn't groveled before our demise. He wouldn’t get the satisfaction of us stroking his ego, that was for sure. In the back of his mind for the rest of eternity, he’d always remember that Ilamanthe never gave in no matter how much power he displayed, and being a thorn in his pitiful self-image was the best I could strive for.
Luana and my mother kept checking on me, but it seemed like the labor had slowed down since I arrived. The bleeding from my cervix had stopped, so I didn’t need an emergency c-section, though the waiting now was worse than the panic. Everyone departed from my room to wait for the baby to drop lower, so I could start pushing— giving Charlie and me a moment alone.
Which was the last thing I wanted, because I didn’t want to talk about all of this right now, but what else were we supposed to do? He sat beside my bed in an armchair, keeping steadily silent with Oberi at his feet.
Throughout it all, he never let go of my hand, and I didn’t pull away. I needed his hand in mine to ground me to reality right now, because honestly, what the fuck was this life?
“Are you scared?” Charlie’s tone was so understanding. It reminded me of the soft dom he’d once been. It triggered a response in me to hang on to every word he said, spellbound by each syllable he spoke.
I hadn’t felt like that in a long time. But I’d been hurt by him, so my wounded side came out first. “Of course I’m fucking scared. I’m more terrified than I’ve ever been in my life, and I can’t run away from this.”
“Then it’s my job to help you be less scared.” Charlie’s hand moved to rub between my shoulders. “We’ll do this together. I’m not leaving you.”
“You’d better not. You put me here.”
