A heavy hand landed on my shoulder, and I gave a start. I hadn’t heard anyone approach.
“Wh— what is it?” I stumbled over my words, my voice cracking as I teetered on the brink of tears. I didn’t realize how broken I felt until that moment. I didn’t have it in me to fight back anymore.
“Charlie,” Liam said. “How you holding up?”
The weight of the question felt monumental. I was unable to manage a shrug, let alone an answer. I had no response planned, but even as I tried to choke out a reply, the words caught in my throat. It practically suffocated me.
“Yeah, I get that,” Liam said, even though I hadn’t answered. My silence was enough of an answer itself.
Liam groaned as he lowered himself to the ground beside me, pressing his back against the wall. I knew it took a lot of effort for him to do that, and I appreciated the gesture. I didn’t want to be alone right now— though I’d never admit it.
Neither of us spoke for a long time, and we didn’t need to. I focused on the sound of Liam’s breath beside me, allowing his presence to drag me back to reality. Liam didn’t prod, and I spoke when I was ready.
“I don’t know how this is happening,” I said in the smallest voice I’d ever used.
“Believe it or not, I can relate,” Liam replied.
I gave a skeptical huff. “You can’t know how this feels. None of this was planned.”
“Neither was Ava-Marie,” Liam said. “And she’s been one of the greatest joys of my life.”
I lifted my head. “You and Sophia… didn’t plan to have Ava?”
“We had hoped to have children some day, but when the time came, it was a shock. And it all happened during the middle of the Hawkei Civil War,” Liam explained. “I’ll never completely understand what you’re going through, because we had more time to prepare for Ava’s arrival, but I feel for you two. I really do.”
This wasn’t the Liam I knew. He’d always been a hard-ass who demanded that if he couldn’t keep Ava-Marie away from me, I had to take care of her. And I hadn’t. I expected him to berate me, tear my head off my shoulders for putting his daughter in this position. But instead, Liam seemed to be supportive of the arrival of his grandson.
My shoulders sagged, and words tumbled out of my mouth. “This is different. Ava and I are getting divorced. We can’t be parents. The Warden will find a way through that shield eventually. And if he doesn’t, you’re welcome to do the honors yourself and get rid of me for letting this happen. I know you want to.”
Liam chuckled, like it was funny we could both agree on something. “I thought about it, kid, but what good would that do? You’re the father of my first grandchild. He needs you, so I’ll put my distaste for you aside for now, so long as you step up and do what needs to be done. Sophia and I will be here to help out as his grandparents, but that’s not enough. That baby needs his dad.”
I shook my head. “I can’t be a dad. This can’t be happening.”
Liam placed a hand on my shoulder again, pulling me back into myself. “Charlie, I know. But you are a dad now, and this is happening.”
My eyes burned with tears. “Then why doesn’t it feel real?”
“Because these things take a minute,” Liam said gently. “You and Ava didn’t have time to prepare, but that doesn’t make you less of a parent. Your introduction into this journey is rough, but you still get a chance to do things right, no matter how it started. It takes a moment to get adjusted to these changes. What no one tells you about becoming a parent is that it’s a practice, something you learn by doing. All you can do is take it one step at a time. Becoming a father happens abruptly, but now you get to choose if you want to be a dad. That doesn’t happen overnight. But I promise that if you choose to walk this path, you will gain clarity with time.”
“I don’t know if I want this without her,” I whispered.
“It’s okay not to know,” Liam said. “You don’t have to decide anything today, or this week, or this month. We’re all here to support the two of you, so you can make the decision when you’re ready.”
“What do I do in the meantime?”
“Like I said, you take it one step at a time. Nothing feels more real than meeting your child for the first time, so if you’re struggling to make sense of your son’s arrival, that’s where I’d start. Go to him. Talk to him.”
“He’s just a baby. He won’t understand me.”
“But he’ll feel you,” Liam encouraged. “And in turn, you’ll feel what you need from him. Maybe it won’t give you any answers just yet, but it should set you on the path to them.”
I shook my head. “I don’t even know what answers I’m hoping for. None of it matters, since the Warden’s going to wipe us all out anyway.”
Liam sighed. “If you’re right and we’re out of time, then our only option is to make the most out of the time we have left. That means you need to be there for your son.”
A door clicked open beside us, and I jumped. Soft footsteps emerged from the labor room, followed by the sound of padding paws.
“Ava is resting now. She needs to sleep,” Sophia said. “The baby is in the neonatal intensive care unit. He’s being closely monitored.”
