“I just thought… out of everyone, that you’d understand.”
“I can’t understand this!” Ivy snapped. “If you want to be vulnerable with somebody right now, sorry, it ain’t me!”
I grabbed my wheels and went to leave. “Fine. I’ll just go.”
“Oh, so now the pretty princess wants to run away. That’s so typical of you.”
“You don’t want me here, so why should I stick around? So we can sit here and yell at each other?”
“I told you, Ava!” Ivy screamed, and they threw down the glass they were holding. It shattered all over the floor. “I warned you that if you kept giving up parts of yourself to other people, there wasn’t gonna be anything left by the end of it. Now look at ya. Charlie took what little you had left to offer, because you cared too damn much.”
Ivy’s words pierced me to the bone, because they were absolutely right. Being overly empathetic could hurt people more than it helped. Worse of all, it could really hurt you. There were limits to how much good hyper compassion could do, and it was more destructive than apathy could be. Loving other people too intensely could become a poison that ate away at you from the inside out, and I'd been drinking it down for years. I’d loved Charlie so much that I let him push me to my limit, and I’d loved the people of the world so badly I thought it would be better for them if I took their lives away to spare them suffering, instead of letting them experience it. It would’ve been better if I’d sat on the sidelines and not participated at all.
I steeled my tone. “I won’t be made into a sinner because I care. You can call me a villain for the rest of it, but I had the best intentions.”
“Yeah, so did Charlie, and look how that turned out.” Ivy stepped around the broken glass and began throwing Chancey’s boxing gear into a bag. “And by the way, precious, this ain’t a breakup, and you ain’t dating. This is a marriage. You wanna split up a family because you can’t control your shit, go right ahead.”
“You’re so fucking mean, Ivy.”
“I speak the truth. You aren’t the only one who can be blunt around here.”
I gave a bitter laugh. “The truth? The truth is you’re two-faced. You sided with Charlie. You promised to defend me from everything, to always be there for me, but you helped him take me down when you knew I’d end up like this!”
“Sorry I can’t agree to being a part of the world’s biggest suicide pact.”
“I don’t care! You promised to side with me on everything, no matter what!” My eyes burned as I struggled to withhold the quiver in my voice. “Then when my back is turned, you drive a knife in it by taking Charlie’s side instead of mine!”
“Do you think I can forgive Charlie for what he did to Chance?” Ivy asked, and they started to cry. “No fucking way. I’ll hate him every day for making Chance lose a wing during that mission, and for taking away my shot at getting back at my father. But I knew Charlie was capable of something like this. That’s why I didn’t want you to marry him again.”
A memory struck me. Before my wedding in Ilamanthe, all my bridesmaids had tossed flower petals into the sacred pool in the Elvish temple, and bestowed upon me their blessing before the marriage. Ivy had been there, but they’d paused for a long moment before they had given me their promise to protect me no matter what.
“The ceremony before the wedding,” I remarked. “You hesitated.”
“Of course I did. I wanted to object, because I didn’t think Charlie was good for you. But I knew he made you happy, so I kept quiet, and fuck all if I’m not cursing myself for not opening my big mouth. I should’ve told you to kick him to the curb, but I didn’t. I convinced myself you two would get your shit together eventually and find a way to have a healthy relationship. Instead, you guys blow up your marriage, and everyone else with it. So, no, Ava. I don’t like Charlie. I never have. I think he’s bad for you, for pretty much everybody, and that besides being a walking red flag, he’s a major asshole. Sorry this confession comes a few months too late.”
Ivy stopped packing, turning toward me as their tone dripped with loathing. “And you know what else? I’m pissed off that your actions were so extreme that you’re making me see things from his point of view! Charlie’s grandpa died, and grief ain’t no excuse, but you have to admit that you would’ve locked Charlie up and tried to usurp Cameron if anyone you loved died. You would’ve gone on the warpath the minute you had the chance, so don’t act like your husband’s actions are unforgivable. You would’ve done the same damn thing.”
“Damn right I would’ve, and I would’ve had the balls to finish the job!” I snapped. “You’re right about one thing, though. Charlie doesn’t get any passes for his grief. I know grief better than any damn person, and I wanted to spare you all from knowing the same shithole. That’s why I did what I did.”
Ivy shook their head. “You think I haven’t seen my share of shitshows? I’ve lived the circus life, Ava, and I gotta tell you, I’ve never seen a shit circus quite like yours.”
I took a bow, just to mock them. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed the show!”
“I wouldn’t put it that way. You know, it was a good choice to put on a circus to get the vampire key, because no one can put on a clown act quite like you and Charlie.”
Resentment festered inside my chest, brimming with disgust. “You must’ve enjoyed dancing with the clowns, because you sure came running to my ass to take you in. No one wanted you at the Institute, but I saw the best in you even when all you were doing was shooting up nightshade in the bathroom. Why can’t you see the best in me now that I’ve ruined my fucking life? You’re turning away when I need you the most!”
“Oh, yeah? Let me tell you something, precious. This addict has gotten you through more bullshit than you realize, but I’m not going to wipe your ass now that you’ve shit the bed this time,” Ivy sneered. “Who held your hand when you were going through multiple bouts of psychosis? Who gave up their own meals to feed you when you were determined to starve yourself? Who cleared your tears away when Charlie dumped your ass? Now he’s dumping your ass again!”
“I’m the one dumping him, you whore,” I spat.
Ivy’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Wow. So we’re resorting to name-calling now. That’s awesome. I’m glad you see me as some big slut, just like everyone else does.”
I winced. “You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Sure you didn’t. But you know what? At least I got paid. You’re a whore too, Ava, but you only spread your legs for one man, and he sure fucked you good this time, didn’t he?”
“You know I didn’t mean it that way,” I pleaded. “I call everyone a whore.”
