“Painting,” she replied. “I’ve gotten into it since Marcus has started teaching me stuff. I’m not half as good as he is, obviously, but it’s a good way to take your mind off things.”
I could use a mental break. I dipped a brush into some purple paint, dragging it across my canvas. We worked in silence for a moment before I got the courage to ask, “How’s wedding planning?”
Kallie let out a long breath. “Bad, honestly. Okay, not bad, but I’d rather do anything else. I’m not into planning parties like you are, Ava. It’s stressing me out, not to mention I don’t even know when the wedding is going to be now that the Warden is hanging around. It feels wasteful to throw a huge wedding when we don’t know if Ilamanthe’s food supplies are going to last through the season.”
I frowned. “I’m sorry. I’m your matron of honor, and I’m not doing anything to help you plan.”
“I don’t expect you to help. You’re going through a lot right now.”
“You don’t deserve to have your big day ruined just because I’m getting a divorce and had a random baby. You were so helpful during my wedding, both of them, and you deserve to be celebrated on your big day.”
Kallie nodded. “I know. I’m excited for the event itself, but I can’t be bothered with choosing the menu or the guest list and all that. I just don’t care. All I give a shit about is my dress and if Marcus shows up. The rest are all minor details."
“Maybe you guys should have a small wedding,” I offered. “If you’re not into all the extras, what’s the sense in making it a big show?”
“Maybe,” Kallie grumbled. “I just want to be married already. I don’t see why I have to be paraded around like a French poodle.”
“As long as Marcus is okay with it, do what you want.”
“Marcus isn’t going to care. He’ll go along with whatever I pick. Yes, pretty girl, are the only words that he knows.” Kallie laughed.
I snorted. “I wish stuff in my marriage was that easy.”
Kallie rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ava. You’re the real dom.”
“What? No, I’m not. I’ve always been the submissive,” I argued.
“You’re having relationship problems because you put Charlie in charge,” Kallie said, sounding bored. “Who’s the real sub, here?”
I scoffed. “Charlie is not submissive. If you think he is, you don’t know him.”
“Ava, he’s been useless lately! He’s done nothing since you gave him those papers but wander around completely lost because you’re not there to tell him what to do!” Kallie burst. “He’s literally waiting around for a dom to give him some instruction. What else does a sub do?”
I blanked out momentarily. “I don’t think you’re right. He’s always been the one who makes the rules for us, and I follow them. If he wasn’t a dominant, he wouldn’t like telling me what to do.”
“Cool, so he has a lot of bravado, and enjoys playing the role of this dark, edgy guy who can take you past your limits in bed,” Kallie said. “That doesn’t mean he’s a dominant.”
“He wants to make the decisions!”
“Yeah, because he’s making a lot of decisions now without you telling him which ones to make. He wants to be in service to you. He needs to be needed by you, and now that he’s not, he doesn’t have a purpose. You think that you have a praise kink? Please.”
“But…” This couldn’t be true. “But he’s the one who ties me up. He likes making the calls.”
“Yeah, but does he take charge if you don’t tell him to? Is he actually a dom, or is he just playing the role you want him to play? You told him to handcuff you and call you a bad girl, so he did.” Kallie smirked, like she had this all figured out.
“He’s the one who came up with the idea for all this stuff in the first place! He introduced me to the handcuffs!”
“Because he knew you’d like them,” Kallie said. “It doesn’t count if he’s tying you up and pulling your hair if you’re the one telling him to do it. You told him to dominate you. He didn’t ask to. Just because he gets off on it doesn’t mean he’s getting off on being a dom. He’s getting off on giving you what you’re asking for.”
“I can’t believe this. You’re making this up.” I refused to hear her out, because this was turning my world on its head.
“Ava, look at the facts.” Kallie laid her hands on the table. “You asked him to marry you, and he jumped when you said so. You said to let the Institute burn, and he did. You told him to fight the world for you, and that’s all he’s been doing from the moment you met.”
Kallie reached for my wrist and turned it over, drawing attention to Charlie’s name sprawled across my skin in black ink. “You don’t believe me? Then whose idea was this? You two weren’t even dating when you got those tattoos, but the second you suggested it, Charlie perked up like a puppy dog faster than your actual dog ever has. I know, because I was there. That was your first act of dominance. You marked your man, and Charlie has been bowing at your feet like you’re his goddess ever since.”
Oh… fuck.
I thought about when we’d hooked up recently. I was the one who’d asked him to fuck me; he wasn’t the one who initiated.
