He laid his head against my leg. No. I personally think there’s a chance you two could work this out. But I’m not going to make either of you do so if this situation can’t be fixed.
Why would you want me to be with her after what I did? I deserve to get left. She needs to be protected from a monster like me.
Yes. But maybe there’s a way you two can come back from all of this, and forgive each other. Please don’t give up hope.
I already have. I’m done with her, and she’s done with me.
That might be true, but there’s a difference between done and finished, Oberi emphasized. One of them you can come back from. The other means you’re truly willing to walk away and not look back. You might be tired of Ava and all her bullshit, and I know for certain she’s tired of you. But does that mean you’ve lost any desire to make things right? Because that’s what divorce is, Charlie. The love you feel for a person fades away so completely that you can’t experience it anymore. You two might be bad for each other, and there might be no repairing this. But it does no good not to try.
There’s no fixing this, Oberi. I reached for another glass. Ava and I are over with, for good this time. I’ll never get to kiss her again. I’ll never get to touch her hair, and we’ll never get to have another deep conversation in the middle of the night. I’ll never get to feel her body against mine again. We won’t get to have kids, or a future together. I’ll never…
I put my head in my arms and just cried. Fuck all if the bartender saw. My reputation was ruined and so was my life. I couldn’t be a bigger embarrassment than I already was.
Is there anything I can say that will convince you not to give up?
I couldn’t dare to hope. Not anymore. Just go away.
I’ll leave you be. Oberi got up, trotting away. Think about what I said, all right?
I wouldn’t, because there was no point. I’d lost the love of my life. There was nothing left for me.
I didn’t know how many drinks I had— more than I could count, that was for certain. It didn’t take long for the alcohol to hit me full-force, and I found the world spinning around me. I thought I’d started weeping, though I wasn’t sure what I’d said to the bartender before I lost my bearings completely and slumped out of my chair and onto the floor.
I didn’t bother trying to get up. Probably best if I didn’t. He should’ve cut me off a long time ago.
I vaguely processed a sound, maybe even a vibration against the tiles, but my muddled brain couldn’t place it. Something tickled my arm, and I batted it away. It came back a second later, this time pounding on my cheek like tiny little fists. I grabbed at whatever it was and found a small, twig-like creature wiggling between my fingers.
“Sprigs?”
Heavy footsteps approached. “For fuck’s sake, Charlie.”
The male voice was familiar, but I couldn’t grasp on to a thought long enough to remember who it belonged to. Someone clapped my back, and I was barely conscious enough to swat them off of me.
“Leave me alone,” I slurred, shoving Sprigs into his hands. “And take him with you.”
“I mean, sure, I could let you sleep here on this tile covered in traces of horse shit all night, or I could carry you up to your quarters and get you into bed. What’s it going to be?”
“I’m sure you’re handsome, but I’ve got a wife.” I’d nearly forgotten she’d asked for a divorce. All I could remember was that I loved her. I didn’t care if we were ending. I’d never share a bed with anyone else, not as long as I lived.
“As much as I’d love that, I’m here as a friend.”
A friend? I wasn’t sure I had any of those left.
I lifted my head slightly as I realized who the voice belonged to. “Chancey?”
“Yeah, it’s me, dumbass. Gods, how much have you had?”
The bartender rattled off a number I was too drunk to process. It occurred to me that maybe the bartender wasn’t pouring drinks as a sign of sympathy, but trying to kill me himself. I’m sure alcohol poisoning could circumvent the Emperor’s magical orders. I wouldn’t blame the guy if he succeeded.
“Ugh. Get me some ice,” Chancey demanded.
The next thing I knew, ice-cold water was splashing over my head, and cubes slid down my shirt. I gasped in surprise and sprang upright to a sitting position.
“Fuck you, Chancey.” I took a swing at him, but I was so disoriented it must’ve taken a full second for my fist to reach the spot where he’d been kneeling. By that time, he’d already leapt out of the way.
“Thataboy!” Chancey clapped me on the back. “Let’s get you up and back to your room.”
Chancey looped an arm around me and dragged me to my feet. That resulted in my arm draping around his shoulder, and I did the only thing that made sense. I hugged him as hard as I could while I turned into a bumbling mess of tears. Sprigs hopped onto my shoulder and nuzzled into my cheek, as if offering sympathy— which I certainly didn’t deserve.
