“A lot of our friends wanted to stop talking to you after the coup, because they all thought you were an asshole. But I’m an asshole, too. So maybe I understood you better than the others.” Kallie’s voice drifted off, talking to herself more than me. “Maybe I wasn’t pissed off that you tried to take over Ilamanthe. Maybe I was pissed off that you didn’t ask me to help you. That’s the hardest thing of all to understand, because I would’ve been there with you. Instead, you shut me out. Like our friendship didn’t even matter.”
“You shouldn't care about me. Not after what I did.”
“Don’t tell me how to feel.” Kallie’s hand slammed into the table. “You don’t get to say if I do or don’t give a damn about you.”
I pressed a hand to my mouth, before I rasped, “Kallie… I was going to leave you behind.”
The noise of the bar was all that could be heard for a moment before she replied, “I know.”
I failed to grasp her words. “What?”
“I’m saying I know, Charlie. The Dollmaker nearly killed me, and I got in the way of your plan. You were going to let me die in that alleyway so you had enough time to go after the vampire key. Nobody told me, but I know you. I’ve always known.”
I was shaking. “Why do you still want to be friends with me if you know that’s what I wanted to do?”
“I don’t know why I feel the way I do. I wish I did. Maybe it’s because I’m tired of watching people give up on you, and never give you a second chance. I have to be the one to reach out so we can repair our friendship. Even if I’m one of the people you hurt the most.”
Her capacity for mercy was undeniable. The fae didn’t forgive easily. They held grudges and thrived on resentment.
Yet Kallie had turned the other cheek, even when I’d struck her hard. I wasn’t worthy of having her in my corner, but she’d shown up anyway, time and again.
“I’m so sorry, Kallie.” I rested my head on the table. “I was such a selfish, stupid bastard.”
“You can be a bastard,” she admitted, and she reached out to take my hands. “But that’s not who you are deep down. I’ve always hoped for the good in you, even if your darkness overshadows that light. I keep seeing that light beam out more and more in little ways. You took blows for Ava that were meant for her. We can find a way through this, all of us, no matter how bad things get. Us Institute kids are indestructible when we stick together.”
Kallie gave a shudder. “But you have to promise not to shut me out again. Ever. I’ve lost a lot of friends in my life. Good people. But I don’t want to lose you.”
I nodded, grasping her hands back. “I don’t want to lose you either, Kallie. And I swear, I’m in this with the rest of you. Until he’s done, or we are.”
“Good.” Kallie let go, then reached out to pet Oberi on the top of the head. “Now eat up. You look like you just faced death.”
“Well, I did.” I gave a hoarse laugh.
“You think that’s the worst the Warden has coming for us?” Kallie asked. “What we’ve been through so far has been child’s play. We haven’t seen anything yet.”
I didn’t get back to the palace until the sun was setting. When I returned to my quarters, I heard shifting on the bed. Ava gave a small noise of discomfort, and Oberi jumped up to lay beside her.
“Sorry.” I sat down close to her legs. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s fine. I’ve been sleeping all day, anyway.” Her tone was off, but I couldn’t read it well. I reached out to touch her thigh. I noticed metal plates underneath the calluses on my hands, dried with mud. “Are you still wearing your armor?”
“Yes. I was too tired to change out of it.”
How weary she had to be, and how much she’d given to her people, to have collapsed into bed without even discarding the armor she’d slain her enemies in. Ava hadn’t been given a moment of respite to take care of herself, so I had to be here to give her that rest. “I’ve got all sorts of things you can change into. Whatever you want.”
I reached into the bags I brought, setting all the clothing I had on the bed. “I went and got you some things.”
“Wow.” Ava ran her fingers over everything I’d found. “Charlie, you didn’t have to do this.”
“I promised I’d restore all your things, so I did. I know we’re starting from nothing again. I’m broke and I don’t have anything to give you, but I’m going to do everything I can to return everything you gave away and far more.”
Her voice twisted into something that resembled grief. “Oh, Charlie.”
I expected her to be happy, but she sounded close to tears. “Did I do something wrong? If I did, I’m sorry. I’ll fix it right away.”
“No. You… you’ve done beautifully.” She emitted a broken gasp. It sounded like she wiped her face. “Thank you for doing this for me.”
“Thank you for allowing me to do it. It was an honor that I could, for you.”
