This wasn’t me. I would never go back to a strange man’s apartment, and certainly not alone. Hell, my past trauma was demanding that I get the hell out of here, no matter how nice this guy was. Eldin was around, and she’d save me if I called for help, but I still felt uneasy going to a man’s house I didn’t know.
I wasn’t a girl who slept with random guys, either. I’d only had sex with Charlie. I didn’t know what it’d be like to be with somebody else, and Charlie was the only one who knew my body well.
It didn’t matter if the sex was bad, only that it happened. On our way to his apartment, we came to the middle of a bridge that arched over a winding river.
Taylin reached out to grasp my shoulder, to tell me to stop. His hand was gentle, but even so, I flinched at his touch. “Hold on a minute. I want to show you something.”
We waited for a moment or two. Then, all along the river, lights began to ignite. Small lanterns that were placed in the water lit up, creating a beautiful halo that reflected upon the glass surface.
He was trying to be romantic. It was so sweet. Taylin really was a nice guy. I should’ve picked a bigger asshole. I wouldn’t feel so guilty about doing this.
Taylin leaned down. He closed his eyes and went to kiss me. I squeezed mine shut, willing myself to suck it up, to just let him do it so he could take me back to his apartment and get this over with.
But at the last moment, something inside of me refused, rebelling at the thought of letting anyone kiss me ever again. If they weren’t Charlie, they couldn’t compare, and no other man would ever be enough.
I pulled back. “Wait.” I held up a hand and put it on his chest. My plans fell through, and my heart dropped. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”
I couldn't even get past a single kiss. I was screwed, and not in a fun way.
Taylin frowned, but he didn’t seem disappointed. More like… concerned. He leaned on the railing of the bridge. “You’re still hung up on someone, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said, mouth dry. “My husband.”
His face fell. “Oh.”
I expected him to walk away, but he stayed. Taylin looked over the water. I rolled beside him to face the river.
“You guys separated, or?—”
“Kind of. I gave him divorce papers, but he won’t sign them.”
“Is he abusive?”
“More like… he hurt me really badly. It was kind of an accident, but also, on purpose. It was also partly my fault. But it changed my life in a really big way, and now we can’t get over it.”
“I see,” Taylin said, and he looked down at my wheelchair. “I’m sorry. That really has to suck.”
He assumed whatever happened had something to do with my inability to walk. I didn’t correct him, because having my magic taken away had been just as devastating as losing my legs.
“It does. And I don’t know what to do about it.”
“So why are you out here?”
“I thought I’d find someone to be with. Because if I slept with someone else, then he’d have to leave.”
I shook my head. “I’m really sorry. It was wrong for me to try and use you like that.”
“I get it. You’re in a lot of pain,” Taylin said.
This stranger was being way too kind. He should hate me for what I tried to do to him. “That doesn’t excuse what I did.”
“What you almost did,” Taylin corrected. “Is your husband a good guy? Like, not just in your eyes, but actually good?”
“I don’t know. I want him to be. But wanting someone to change is a horrible reason to stay. I can’t fix him.”
“Maybe he just made a mistake. A terrible one, but I’m sure he feels bad about it now.”
“Of course he does, but feeling bad can’t change the past. He can’t repair this. And I’d rather be alone than face him every day knowing what he did to us.”
