No. No. Not a thought to have right now, you ass.
He wondered what the shape of Ducky’s ass looked like now. Chad’s entire body hardened under the cold splash of water on his cheeks.
“You want my honest answer to what you just said?” Patient sincerity dripped from Tristan’s tone as he handed Chad a wad of paper towels to dry himself off. “I don’t think you really want what you’re striving for.”
How the hell did Tristan do that? Cut straight through Chad’s bullshit like that? “What?” Chad asked and stopped in the middle of wiping the towels over his face. Their gazes connected in the mirror above the sink. “I’ve worked damned hard…”
Tristan lifted one hand, stopping him from digging himself further into the hole of lies he created. “I’ve watched you for years. You conquered college with a vengeance, earning a master’s degree in the same time it takes most people to graduate with their undergrad. You laser-focused on professional golf. I’ve never seen anyone work as hard as you’ve worked to get where you are. It’s almost as if you’re running from something.” Tristan said the words then let them sit there between them as he turned toward the bathroom door to leave. “I’m always here for you. I won’t push you, Chad, but I promise you won’t find balance until you become comfortable with who you are. Do I say anything to your dad about this?”
“No, not yet,” Chad said instantly. All his bullshit and diversion was only to try to throw Tristan off track to keep from telling his dad what had happened. His father worried too much about his kids and how his life change had affected them.
Another layer of guilt sat heavily in his gut.
Tristan nodded and stepped out of the room. The door shut, closing him alone in the space. Chad didn’t waste another minute. He tossed the towels in the trash, patting his pockets for his cell phone. He had to let Ducky know he’d taken him by surprise and how amazing he looked. What a great job he’d done presenting. But he didn’t have his phone.
Shit, he’d left it on the table. God dammit. It would have to wait.
Chad stared at himself in the mirror.
His whole body stilled as he blinked at his reflection. Ducky Reigns was a straight-up hottie.
Since his youth, he’d managed his attraction for Ducky by assuming he had time to make things happen between them—if anything was going to happen. If Ducky was even gay, bisexual, or interested in building something more. That strategy had helped stave off the intensity of all the wanting he’d done for as long as he could remember. This new development threatened everything.
CHAPTER 6
“I wanted to drop in and say hey, I can’t be on too long,” Ducky said to Kai from the Twitch app on his phone while crammed inside the backseat of the cab, sandwiched between Dallas and Greer. He used to fit better than he did these days.
“I should have gotten us a car,” Greer whispered. He didn’t live in the live stream world and probably believed he couldn’t be heard.
“It’s a surprise you didn’t,” Dallas said in the same hushed tone, making Ducky laugh as Dallas struggled to make more room for his brawny muscles, finally throwing an arm behind Ducky’s back, pushing him forward.
He turned the phone’s screen first in Greer’s direction, who grinned that charming smile he had and lifted two fingers in a peace sign.
“That’s Greer Lockhart, my brother-in-law. And this is Dallas. You guys know him. He’s my brother. We own StreamTrainer together.”
“Dude, that was sick. You have so much explaining to do. Reeves thought you were capping, that it wasn’t actually you,” Kai said, his face filling the screen. “You changed your whole look. Who knew there was a decent face under all that hair?”
The relief of being done, coupled with the feeling of actually hearing all his hard work had paid off, had a giggle welling inside him. In his wildest dreams, he’d never anticipated his makeover reveal going so well. “Two eyes, a nose, and a mouth.”
“And we can see ’em now, bro,” Johnnie-boy, Kai’s best buddy, interjected, pushing Kai out of the way to get in the camera’s range. “And what’s up presenting Sonic. Sonic! With Ben freaking Schwartz. You just kept all sorts of secrets.”
“That was sprung on me the last few seconds before we went on stage. I was as surprised as you. My cab’s stopping,” Ducky said, almost toppling over when Dallas opened his door and stepped out. “I gotta go. Did you sign, Kai?”
Kai lifted the logoed hat off his head. “I did. Got some lit merch. We currently have two million viewers on the live stream. That’s sick.”
“100 Thieves tweeted out a selfie of Matt Haag with you in the distance, bent over with your head between your legs,” Johnnie-boy added, bringing his phone closer to the laptop for Ducky to see the tweet.
Ducky bent in, his face filling the entire screen to take a closer look as he stepped out of the cab, directly into oncoming foot traffic. He got knocked in the shoulder one way, sending him into the line of walkers going the other way. He was struck there too. He didn’t even care. Too many of his heroes were on him today.
“No way. Matt Haag.” He quickly screenshotted the pictures as if he couldn’t find the tweet later. Before he was struck again, Dallas gripped the back of his T-shirt and tugged him in the direction of the dumpling house.
“You have to wear the jacket inside,” Greer said, holding the door with one hand and the suit coat with the other. In a sea of changes, these two men looking out for him and his scattered ways meant nothing had really changed at all. Even that made him over-the-top happy today.
“I’ve gotta go. I’ll sign on later. Where’s Chad?”
“Seriously, bruh,” Kai said. “He didn’t believe it was you. You didn’t let any of us know.”
Ducky nodded and didn’t say more. He generally kept his private life private. Had this not worked out, he didn’t want to hear the ribbing later.
