What a joke. Lifting weights hadn’t helped. The miles he’d run on the treadmill hadn’t either. Before that, hours of prepping for the undercover assignment that officially started in the morning hadn’t helped.
On the way to his room from the gym, he’d swung by the hotel’s bar and had a few drinks. Even that hadn’t proved an effective escape from all this emotional overload.
If only it were random thoughts of Dev. He could get past those. He always did. Instead, he carried around this foreign feeling in his chest. For some inexplicable reason, he needed to protect the biker. The strength of the urge made his body hum. He wanted to crawl out of his skin to make it happen.
No amount of talking himself down eased the irrational urge.
He ran the damp towel over the mirror in frustrated swipes to push the condensation away. He left behind streaks on the fogged glass. Enough mirrored bits had been cleared to see the weariness in his eyes. The same sadness he’d carried for years, through multiple surgeries and physical rehabilitation. At least he’d survived. Not only that, he’d thrived. The lessons learned through the long recovery made him both mentally and physically stronger.
Clearly, not as strong as he had once thought. The inner focus that guided his every decision had vanished. This wasn’t the first time he’d been triggered back into the past. But this time, refocusing took longer.
He was here to do a job. One he planned to complete. If he found a way to help Dev, he’d do it. If not, well, life had taken them down different paths. Some might call them opposing. But it was the way it was.
Cash brushed his teeth then ran the brush over his hair.
After hours spent reviewing surveillance photos, what he wondered about the most was all of Dev’s tattoos.
He had a memory of watching Dev in class as the then-boy drew caricatures on the side of his schoolwork. The evil devils he’d drawn had confused Cash. He had never seen anyone purposely choose to engage with the darker side of life.
The photos of the man today… Cash’s body tightened. Those were forever etched in his memory. Dev had turned out gorgeous. Seriously a stunner. Beautifully made and handsome, tempting as sin. He carried himself as a rebel, one who faced life on his terms. Dev’s extensive rap sheet spoke of someone unafraid to break the rules. His Child Protective Services records hadn’t been easy to read either.
He dressed in a pair of athletic shorts and a T-shirt as he reexamined his gut feelings. The operation’s leads, those above Malik, were clearly not running the case well... A quiet rap on the room’s door drew his attention. He’d been so lost to his past he’d completely forgotten the gravity of the situation that had brought him to Dallas in the first place.
He took quiet steps toward his weapon on the desk.
The gentle knock came again. A softer knock, maybe a woman. Maybe a ruse. He edged up to the peephole to see Shanna Fox standing alone in front of his door.
“I’m alone,” she said quietly as if she knew his thoughts.
Hmm. He lowered his pistol, stood behind the door and pulled it open. She came fully inside, glanced back at him, and lifted both hands in the air as the door closed automatically behind her. She grinned.
“I’m sorry, you surprised me…” He stood there, gun in hand, feeling silly for the precautions.
“No, it happens every time someone new learns who I am,” she explained. Her voice was softer when she added, “I only came by to say I’ve been fully updated on your file.” Her direct gaze never wavered from his. “I was young when all that went down with you and Dev. Too young to remember the attack itself. I have questions and can’t find the answers in Dev’s file.”
Yeah, he bet she had questions about a time that stayed locked in his head and never escaped his lips. Cash went for his desk, holstering his weapon.
“You were targeted by a gang of intermediate-aged children. Dev took up for you but not before you sustained substantial injuries.”
Cash nodded at the sugarcoated explanation. “I wasn’t expected to survive.”
She nodded. He couldn’t tell if she had known his death was the ultimate goal in the street gang attack or not. “Dev jumped into the fight while he sent Keyes to run for help.”
Cash nodded again.
“Why were those kids after you with such a vengeance?” She tilted her head as if she could somehow glean the information she wanted directly from him, without him having to speak the words aloud.
Cash now knew the answer, but only after the years’ long court proceedings to punish those involved. He still found it hard to say the gang members had targeted him due to his perpetual happiness, his easy acceptance, and the writing on the wall about his sexuality.
The older bullies had set their sights on him from the first day he had enrolled in their school.
“You don’t have to answer. Why did Dev jump in to help?”
Cash honestly had no idea. They’d been classmates and nothing more. For Cash, he’d watched Dev flagrantly disregard the rules of the school. The young boy never turned in one scrap of homework but could make straight As on all the tests. That had intrigued Cash. He remembered trying to make friends with Dev, sayinghelloto him at every opportunity but never got a single response in return.
“Don’t want to answer that one either?” Shanna let out a frustrated breath, her brow furrowed.
“I don’t have an answer. I’ve been through years of counseling and the required mental health care the job requires. I have a proven track record. I can handle this job.” He started to go through the diatribe he’d been scolding himself with all evening.
