“It doesn’t appear that’s the case.”
I gave a hearty chuckle and solid humph at his absurdity and redirected my attention to the ceiling. Certainly, every person in the world found the man in my arms sexually attractive.
“What’s that supposed to mean? I need further explanation. You’re making me insecure.” I felt his eyes on me.
“Yeah, right. I don’t think you know the meanin’ of insecurity.” A further giggle welled until I had no choice but to let it go, just like the other. Dash insecure. Right. “I got to where I couldcontrol my arousal. You made it crucial because you were still all in my head. I guess I got too good at it. It seems like it doesn’t work right anymore.”
“Really?” Dash lifted to gauge the truthfulness of my words. His eyes narrowed with a wicked glint in his stare. His hand began to slide down my chest. “Can I give it a shot?”
Most certainly not. I was hanging on by a thread. If he managed to bring me up, I might not ever get it to lie down again. With a head shake, I grabbed his hand. There was little doubt the emotions he’d stirred needed to be released, but slowly, dealt with one at a time.
I caught the regret wrinkling his brow. “I’m disappointed. I expected us to be going at it hard.”
“Mmm.”
“Are you on any of the social sites?”
I barely knew what that was. “No. I don’t have access to a computer that often.” Another yawn slipped out, turning jaw cracking long this time.
“I didn’t think so. I searched for you. I have MySpace and Facebook.”
“Hmm,” I replied.
“What’s going on with the piercings?” Dash asked.
“An initiation deal with the team. All freshmen have it done. I took it a step further, getting my nose pierced. I knew it would piss off my dad,” I replied. The good memory of watching him blow his top had me smiling. “I wear these flat tip studs all the time. I’ll probably remove them soonish.”
“I have employment set after graduation. I’ve signed the contract. I’ll begin working in the fall of next year.” Dash’s head tilted up to me, maybe for approval, or maybe just in thought. “After this term, I have a year left of law school. I can speed that along and finish sooner if I need to.”
“Where’re you workin’?” I asked.
“Haynes, Baker, Smart, and Reed. They work for one of my brothers so technically not a self-made opportunity, but most firms in DFW have worked with one member of my family or another. They’ll give me credibility as I move forward with my career. Nothing’s changed for me. My goal is to help people. I want to offer pro bono services and fight corruption.”
As he spoke of his dreams, his fingertip lightly traced the outline of my pec, slowly moving into the edge of my nipple. The simple touch stirred a longing inside me I hadn’t remembered was even there. The memory of a young Dash tossing rocks at my window had me tightening my hold, drawing him closer as I tuned back in.
“Money’s not really an issue for me, but I’d like to make it on my own. Be self-sufficient and as self-made as possible. Maybe leave my inheritance to our children, or not. I want them to be self-made too.”
“Children?” My heart ceased its beat, my lungs stopped drawing in breath. In a whiplash worthy move, I snapped my head up. My eyes had to be bulging out of their sockets. I was never having a child, let alone enough to constitute several. My genetic pool would die with me.
“You didn’t seem to be listening. You should’ve seen the look on your face.” His boisterous laugh and teasing glint marginally eased me.
I slid my arm back underneath my head again. Dash propped his chin on his hand. He happily kept my gaze. “I’m still bullheaded. I rarely give in to anything.”
“Hmm. I remember you’d sometimes give,” I said, easily falling into his hypnotic stare. Dash’s charming smile just did it for me, but those eyes were my undoing. I didn’t necessarily plan to turn the tables, but I did take the opportunity. “We were only together for a couple of weeks. I guess there wasn’t enough time to really get to know you.”
Dash’s expression grew fierce as he rose above me. It was my turn to laugh. “We had at least a month,” he corrected firmly. “Am I the only one who understands simple math?” His strong jaw was set like a steel trap, ready to take on the world if necessary.
“I feel like I win,” I said, gently nudging his head down with my hand. It sprang right back up.
“No, you don’t win. We had at the very least a long month together. We set forever into motion in those thirty days. I fished and liked it. You showed me how to live a normal life. I shoulder the blame for what happened to you…”
Oh hell no. I jacked knifed up, dislodging him to where he tumbled to his back.
“Dash, listen to me,” I said, twisting to look him directly in the eyes. He needed to hear me. “It was my fault the way everything went down. I got too cocky. Yes, you push. You want your way, but it was also the right way. I reached for your hand for the world to see. I was bought into the future you planned. My father showin’ up like that… That’s on me.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Dash rose as quickly as I had, his chest rising and falling in short breaths. He was preparing to do what he always did, what had me lying in his bed instead of being on the road. He was using reason as he stated his point of view. “I’m the one at fault. You told me no. That should have been enough.”
There was no conceivable way I was allowing him, the best man on the planet, to shoulder this blame. I lifted my hand, flinging his words back to him. “If it weren’t for the way you went after what you wanted, I’d never have experienced so much. I loved you. I still love you. You drew me out of myself with the way you stayed on me. I reached for your hand. What happened that day is not your fault.”
