“Damn, that’s a terrible drink.” I left the glass behind and went to a side window above the parking garage and entrance to the building. I watched Chandler leave in a waiting taxi. The strong man façade I usually wore was beginning to show its cracks. I’d been in mourning mode. I’d gone seven days without speaking to Beau. My beautiful, unapologetically himself Beau.Regret and doubt replaced the happier memories of our past. Why had I declared that I wouldn’t be the one to make contact?
What might my concessions be when he returned? If he returned. I reached for the arm of a side chair, keeping myself on my feet, bowled over at the suggestion Beau might not come home to me. Where had that even come from? Of course Beau was coming home. I swallowed a lump in my throat before going to my cell phone. I hadn’t allowed myself to sink into a substantial pity party yet. Instead, I distracted myself by drinking into oblivion every night. I should have gone to the Keys with Beau.
As I picked up my phone, an email notification chirped, drawing my focus there. I opened the email app, seeing the first message in my inbox. In slow motion, I opened the thread to find that I had secured Austin Grainger as a client. Both his entertainment company, and his personal attorney. Wow, this was a major win. Austin, one of the most successful actors in the world, had built an empire with his production company. My thumbs danced across the small keypad as I replied, promising to have a retainer agreement and all necessary informed consent documents to them in the morning.
The exhaustion of the last several days of restless sleep and sad feelings swirled through me like the expensive but terrible scotch I’d drank. Tonight, I was changing my drink, and never planned to allow scotch past my lips again. I poured a double vodka tonic and started for the stairs. Even with all my self-pity, I called it a win that I was able to keep from texting Beau. He needed to be here for me as much as I needed to be here for him.
Beau
Five days later
“Uncle Beau, Uncle Beau, catch it,” Dolly, Scott’s second daughter, and sevenish year old middle child, said enthusiastically about the pinfish on her fishing line. She sat at the end of the pier beside me, her legs kicking back and forth just above the water in excitement.
“Hang on, honey. Let me get Daisy’s bait set,” I said, working quickly on Scott’s oldest daughter’s fishing pole. Daisy Mae was eight—an older acting eight year old, who told me to only use her first name, and sat on my other side.
Kailey and Scott’s youngest daughter, Demi, both close in age, were incapable of sitting still for any length of time. All four girls were life-jacketed up and at the end of the dock of the rental property where we stayed in the Keys.
The younger ones celebrated any fish caught with movement and lots ofewwsandahhs. Unsurprisingly, their antics had run most of the fish away, while Daisy and Dolly appeared to have been trained to stay quiet during fishing.
“Beau, get it! Get it!” Kailey called, jumping up and down behind my back, placing me between her and the fish.
I grabbed the handheld net and scooped Dolly’s hand-size fish up and out of the water. “Do you remember what this fish is called?”
“It looks a little different, but is it a pinfish too?” Dolly asked, looking up at me with her mom’s pretty smile.
“Yep, that’s what I think too,” I said. “Wanna touch it before we toss it back?”
Where Daisy was a pro and could handle most of her own catches, Dolly was less tomboy and more girly. She shook her head ardently. Already knowing this answer, I lifted the small fish over my shoulder toward the two youngest girls.
“Do you guys want to touch it?” Just like every other time I’d made the offer, Kailey bounded away screaming. Demi was slower but dashed away too.
“Mommy! Beau’s trying to get me to touch the fish.” I saw Kailey jump into our mom’s lap who sat on the porch in an Adirondack chair beside a sleeping Scott.
Kailey and I were growing closer this trip. Well, as close as a twenty-five-year age gap would allow, but she was simply an adorable handful. She knew I wasn’t going to force her to touch the fish, proving my point by running back to me before I tossed it back into the water.
“They’re too noisy,” Daisy said. I agreed with her wholeheartedly. She got to her feet and handed me her wound fishing pole. “I’m gonna go get a cold drink. My water’s warm.” As if their leader had spoken, all three girls fell in line with her. She glanced back with a sigh. “You don’t have to follow me everywhere.”
“I have some watermelon ready,” my mom chimed in, standing from her seat, prompting a chorus of cheers as the girls sprinted toward the house. Lauren met them at the back door, taking off their life jackets before they went inside.
While my attempt to teach Kailey how to fish ended in a boisterous affair, I was left with two small fishing poles, a smattering of water bottles, and the warm sun beating down on my body. I searched out Scott, wanting him to help me with all this, but I saw he was truly fast asleep. He hadn’t budged as the girls ran past him.
“Hey,” Carter said, approaching from behind me. I’d tried my hardest to avoid being alone with him. Carter always wanted totalk,but I didn’t have anything to say to him. “Want me to take that for you?”
“Are they done for the day?” I asked, already taking measures to end the great fishing experience.
“I believe so. Linda’s going to try to get them down for a nap before we go to the fair this evening,” he said, gathering the water bottles as he came closer. As I reeled in the poles with my back to Carter, I felt his hand clamp down on my shoulder.
“I spoke with Dash. He mentioned that he’s missing you.”
I nodded, trying to swallow that lump of bullshit down. He hadn’t called and he sure wasn’t here with us.
“We truly appreciate the time you spend with us. Both Linda and Kailey really enjoy that you’re here. I do too.”
I nodded once more. My bobblehead skills were impeccable.
“Beau, have I done something to upset you?”
Dammit, that was too direct. I could tiptoe around the question. I knew Dash had told him that I was protective toward my mom and Kailey after the way my father had treated me. What more needed to be said?
