He glances over again. “Why not?”
“Because it’s embarrassing and probably not something I should be discussing with my brother’s best friend.”
“I’m alsoyourfriend,” he says. “And I believe I promised no judgment during the confessional.”
The road hums under us. I look at the back of my own eyelids for a heartbeat.
Oh, fuck it. Here goes nothing.
“Ezra could never make me—” I take a deep breath and try again. “He could never make me—”
“Make you what?” His voice sounds tight.
“Come.”
The car swerves.
“Oh my God,” I squeal, grabbing the handle.
He brings the Camaro back with both hands, jaw doing the thing, eyes locked forward.
“Jesus Christ, Piper.”
I try to slow my pulse. “You said no judgment.”
“I’m not—” He blows out a long breath through his nose. “I’m not judging. Keep going.”
So I do, because it’s in my head, and there’s something about being in a moving car that makes it easier to drop the truth. We’re both looking forward, and I don’t have to hold his gaze.
“It was always predictable,” I say. “Same thing, same order, same result. Or… no result. I thought that was just how it was after you’d been together for a while. That the spark thing fades, and you just settle into a pattern. I read enough articles that said not every woman can orgasm during penetration, and I thought, okay, maybe that’s just me. Maybe that’s just how my machinery works.”
Griffin’s knuckles are white on the leather of the steering wheel. He’s muttering something under his breath that I’m choosing not to fully hear.
“And he didn’t like, you know…”
“No, Piper.” His voice is strained in a way I’ve never heard. “I do not know. What Idoknow is that we need to stop and get your notebook from the trunk.”
“He didn’t like going down on me,” I confess.
Griffin makes a sound somewhere deep in his chest.
“You said no judgment,” I remind him.
“Believe me,” he says tightly. “It is notyouI’m judging right now.”
The car speeds up, but he doesn’t appear to notice. He rolls down the window like he needs the oxygen.
“I mostly had to finish myself off,” I continue, because now I can’t stop the words from flowing. “And lately I haven’t even wanted to do that. Like everything just went offline and shut down.” I look at my hands. “I kept thinking, what is wrong with me?”
Every word is clipped when he says, “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“I just accepted it,” I go on. “All of it. I thought I was being difficult if I wanted something different.” I shake my head. “How did I think all of this was okay? Any of it?”
It feels like the words just burst out of him. “Because he controlled you, Piper.”
Sudden tears sting the back of my eyes.
“Fuck. Sorry, Pipes. I didn’t mean to say that.”
