“Why didn’t you?”
“I had a meeting booked with the chief. I was ready to give my letter, but the case came in that morning, and then a few hours later, you walked through the door. I couldn’t face you thinking I was weak.”
My chest burns as if she’s dropped me in acid. I’ve been no friend to her at all. Instead of being a safe space for her to come to when she was hurting, she kept herself uncomfortable and unhappy just so she didn’t appear weak in my eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Katie. For everything. I want to do better. These last few weeks, I’ve had so much fun with you, and it’s like we were back at college. It’s like all those years where we were butting heads were such a waste of time. We’re so much better when we’re on the same side, fighting the same cause.”
“I know...I feel the same.” She lifts her head, her eyes searching mine for any hint of a lie. But I stroke her cheek. She can take as long as she needs; I’m going to prove it to her. Then I’m going to prove to her this is more than just sex. She knows it is. I know it is. “I’m sorry too, for what it’s worth.”
I press a kiss to her lips, her mouth parting for me. My cock stirs beneath her as my hand slips lower to cup her ass.
“If you even think about trying to fuck me again, I will rescind everything I just said. You’re going to do permanent damage if you try anything else tonight,” she warns.
I hold up my hands, grinning. “You liked it? It wasn’t too much?”
“Jonesy...I don’t even know how to express how perfect it was. I feel so seen...” She bows her head, and her hair falls across her face until I tuck it back behind her ear. Her eyes lift, and she watches me cautiously.
“I want to keep doing this, if you do?” I admit.
She nods, biting her lip.
“And not just because of how good this is, Katie.”
“Why else would you want to?” she whispers.
I drop the gentlest of kisses against her lips, cupping her cheek until I feel her little tongue lick along the seam of my lips.
I can’t tell her what I want to tell her. It’s too much. And despite being fifteen years in the making, it’s too soon. She’s not ready to hear that I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else. Not now thatI know her.Not now that I know how she tastes, how she fucks, how she whimpers and begs and takes me so well. It’s like she was made for me, and I hate that I’m thinking it, but if that little shit hadn't murdered that poorwoman, I may never have pulled my head out of my ass and claimed her the way I have. It seems nonsensical that something so awful, so devastating, could lead me to be with her like this. But maybe it was inevitable. It feels like I’m at a point where all roads lead to her. It doesn't matter where I’m going or what I do; I’m going to be doing this with her forever.
I try to tell her all that with one look because I can’t say it. Words will be too much for her, and she has so much going on to figure out. I don’t want to be added to a list of things she has to work through. I also don’t want her to put a stop to this before it's even started. And knowing Katie, she will. If she’s scared, she’ll make up an excuse to deny whatever this is between us.
“I think you know why.” I shrug. “Let’s get some food.”
“Wait—”
“Yeah, princess?”
She hesitates for a second, as if she were trying to work out some complex puzzle in her head. But then she’s cupping my face, pressing a kiss against my lips until I’m grinning hard. I’m all teeth until she is too. She laughs, covering her mouth with her hand, and I pull it back, kissing her over and over. She’s soft like this, and she’s making my heart feel so full. The urge to keep her here with me whilst we fix up her house is overwhelming. I want her to be comfortable, safe,protected. Even from herself and her ownthoughts. I want to be that man for her and, goddamn it, I know I can be. She’s giving me an inch of space to crawl in, but I’m a goddamn rat. I’m going to burrow into this tiny opening she’s given me and make myself right at home. She’s never going to get rid of me.
She pulls back, her signature frown returning. “You ripped up all my goddamn clothes.Again.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Katie
Iwake up in Jonesy’s arms again, smiling like a goddamn idiot. The scent of leather and sandalwood mixed with sweat and sex has my mouth watering. I try to purse my lips. I try to remember the reasons this can’t work out, but they’re fading. The insistent reasoning was like jagged spikes around my heart, but he’s smoothing them over; they’re fuzzing around the edges, and soon they’ll be soft enough for him to hold.
Like he doesn’t already have my heart in his hand. I’m shocked at how willingly I’ve given it to him. It’s Jacob Jones. Bain of my monthly ritual with my friends, petulant, argumentative, nothing I would want in a partner. Especially given that he’s already run from me after we kissed the first time at college. But it’s different now; it feels different. He’s acting like this could be something.
The sex is...unbelievable. It’s like he knows exactly what I need. He amps up the fear factor until I’m reeling, and then he calls me princessagain, just to ground me to him. It’s everything I ever dreamed about. Everything I imagined, he’s done it. I don’t even have to ask; he just knows what I need. It’s annoying. Because I’m trying not to fall for him again. I’m trying not to end up a mess like I was when he left to go overseas with the military, but my heart won’t listen. It keeps screaming that it’s Jonesy; he’s finally taking notice and showing up. My dumb, stupid heart has forgiven him, but my head is catching up. It hasn’t had good judgment recently, and it’s suspicious that this is another thing to add to my list of recent fuck-ups.
He snuffles against me, his nose running along the length of my neck. I should leave, but I’ll need to borrow some of his clothes to do so. I’m sure the asshole did that on purpose. This is just another way for him to claim me.
I sigh, looking around the room. Ripped clothes, a knife on the floor, a lamp that toppled over after a particularly vigorous thrust from Jonesy around 2 a.m. last night. The place looks like a crime scene. I’d hate to think what someone could see under UV light. It would light up like a damn Christmas tree in here.
Checking my phone, I notice a text from Anthony. They’re ready for us to survey the crime scene, namely, Connor Maddox’s house. There’s something bigger going on here. I can feel it in my bones.
I roll over, running my fingers throughJonesy’s hair, his dopey grin growing as he slowly starts to wake. He peeks one eye open before tugging me even closer to him.
