It wouldn’t be. Since he’d taken over my position, August and I had struck up an easy partnership, working together more seamlessly than I had with anyone in the past.
The next two batters struck out, leaving me a moment of rest in center field. Freshly cut grass stung my nose as I bent down,brushing some of the dirt off my knees from earlier play. As the crowd cheered player’s names, my mind drifted out of the park, too focused on a little girl waiting for me hours away.
It had only been two weeks since I met Anna, two weeks since she crashed into my life and turned everything upside down. But in that brief span of time, she’d become everything to me. Love at first sight was a myth—something saved for movies and those romance novels August tucked into his bag. At least, that was what I believed before Anna. But from the moment I held my daughter in my arms, I loved her unconditionally. Would put my life on the line if it kept her from harm’s way. Being apart from her made my chest ache, and I’d counted down the days until I saw her again.
Before, I’d loved the long season, always wishing for more than our 162 regular games. Baseball had been my only constant since seventh grade. From the moment I put that bat in my hands, I never wanted to put it down. Time and pressure might have clouded it for a long time, but now that my head was clear, being back here, back with my team, reminded me why I’d fallen in love with the game in the first place.
But that longing—that need to be on the field—it was different now. Instead of craving my mitt on my hand, I craved being home with Anna, watching her toothy smile as she held up different toys to play with. Even with our daily FaceTime calls, it wasn’t enough, and the season had barely begun. Could I keep doing this? Keep being absent from her life? Growing up, my dad had been gone for a lot of the year. Even during home games, his mind was always somewhere else, counting down the minutes until he could crush another team. Did I want that for Anna? For her to wait constantly for a moment of my attention, to ignore that bitter burn when it never came?
The next batter stepping up to the plate shoved those thoughts away. My eyes narrowed as I bent my knees, staringdown our competition. I drew a blank on the guy’s name, but it didn’t matter. If this were a couple of years ago, I would have known every one of his stats, been able to recite them all by memory. My dad had drilled that habit into me, asking me about all the other players on the roster, pointing out their strengths over me.
But that hadn’t done me any good, hadn’t made me a better player. If anything, it pushed me in the opposite direction, focusing on their strengths instead of honing my own.
My body stilled as the pitcher wound his arm, and the batter pointed the bat toward the back wall of the stadium. Right above my head. My senses droned, blocking out all the noise until it was just me on the field, singularly focused on the other team. One breath. Two. And the ball released, rushing toward the batter in a blur. The telltale crack of the bat made me jolt into action, watching as it flew in my direction.
Focus, Jace. You’ve got this. You’ve caught balls like this a million times. Numbers, the past, everything faded to the background as my legs carried me to the back wall, praying I’d be there when the ball descended. I could make this catch, end the inning, and give my team something to celebrate later.
And when the ball slowed, arching right toward my glove, that was exactly what I did.
“Please tell me I made it.”
My words came out hurried, not bothering to shut the door behind me as I pulled up Kinsley’s number. The game had gone into extra innings, and we’d pulled out a win, despite Philly’s impressive defense. The highlight of the night had been that catch in the fourth inning, when I ended Philly’s run andhelped us close the gap. But all of that faded away when Kinsley answered the call.
She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “She just passed out. I’m sorry, I tried to keep her up.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it,” I said as I collapsed onto the bed. “Knew it was a long shot, but I had to try.”
Kinsley hummed in agreement, shifting the phone so it sat on the counter while she steeped her tea. Chamomile, the same purple label that she toyed with most nights on our phone calls. As soon as I got home, I’d buy that brand in bulk. Watching her—cataloging all those preferences and details—had become my new obsession, starting with her tea collection, a different flavor for every time of day. Nights always meant chamomile, something soothing to help her drift off.
“How are you feeling after the game?” she asked. “That was a hell of a catch, by the way.”
I sat up, my brow furrowing as I took her in. “You watched?”
“Yeah,” she said, her cheeks darkening in a cherry blush. “Haven’t in a while, so I thought it’d be fun to see you in action.”
Fuck.My dick shifted at her words. Not sure why, but the idea of Kinsley watching me turned me on. I didn’t care if anyone else watched, especially my dad, but it meant something, knowing that she was with me, even with hundreds of miles separating us. “You should come out to a game sometime. I can grab you some seats.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to.” Just the idea of having her in the stands sent my thoughts into overdrive. Having her there, in my jersey,fuck—it almost made my brain short-circuit. “I’d like Anna to know more about me, see my world for herself.”
Kinsley chewed on her lower lip. “Don’t you think she’s a little young for that? And with the press—” She slammed her lipsclosed, her eyes searching above the phone like it held all the words.
“I get it,” I answered. I didn’t like it, but I got it. “If you’re not ready, it’s okay, Kins. When she gets a little older, we can talk about it.”
“It’s not that.” She released a long breath and wrapped her arms around her middle. “If we go, there’s going to be questions, Jace. Questions you might not want to answer.”
“What do you mean?”
“If people see Anna, they’re going to know you have a kid.”
“So?”
She ran her hand over her face. “Are you really going to make me spell it out for you?”Yes, yes, I was. Kinsley groaned and leaned over the phone. “You’ve been single for a long time, Jace. And having a baby, it changes things. People are going to ask about Anna, about us. It might make dating more complicated for you.”
I let out a loud laugh, shaking my head as I looked back at the phone. “Do you really think I have any interest in dating anyone else, Kinsley?”
She snapped her lips closed again, the same fear reflected in her eyes. I’d seen it too many times already, especially after our kiss in the kitchen, and that had been one hell of a kiss. But as soon as I backed away, Kinsley panicked, shoving me behind the safety of her walls. Ever since, our conversations had all revolved around Anna, nothing more.
