“You could quit your job, move in here if you want.” My fingers curled into fists. “Let me take care of you, mama.”
Take care of me? Anger bubbled in my gut, deep and furious, at his words. I didn’t need anyone—especially not Jace—to take care of me. I’d been on my own long enough, knowing the only person I could truly count on was myself.
Or was this all about Anna? Was he implying I wasn’t doing everything I could for her? That he could provide more for her than I ever could? Maybe I’d never be able to afford fancy private schools or give her horseback riding lessons or whatever the fuck rich people did in their spare time, but she was loved. Safe. Cared for.
I sat up, gathering the sheets to cover me as I searched for my clothes. This was too much. The idea of giving my heart to Jace was already terrifying, handing him the power to bend and break me. But for him to imply I was some charity case?
Suddenly, I felt dirty—as if my mere presence in this place sullied it. How could I have been so stupid?
When I climbed out of bed, Jace followed, standing in front of me. He dropped to his knees, blocking me from standing. “What did I say, Kins? Talk to me.”
“How long?” His brow furrowed in confusion. “How long have you pitied me?”
“It’s not?—”
“I am not your problem to solve, Jace.”
My words from years earlier flew out of my mouth, and, once again, Jace flinched. He shifted, allowing me to grab my things, but he stopped me before I fled the room. “It’s not pity, Kins. It’s love.”
THIRTY-SIX
Kinsley dashed through the door, her face paling as she rushed away from me. Fuck that. Reaching down, I grabbed my boxers, throwing them on as I followed her. By the time I stepped out into the space, she’d already grabbed most of her stuff, trying to get away from me as soon as possible.
Her wide eyes met mine as I moved closer to her, but I paused when her fear pulsed out at me. “You’re not leaving.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, Jace. I’m going home.”
“Not like this,” I barked. “You’re not waking Anna up in the middle of the night, not without even talking to me.” My fingers pulled on my hair, tugging up the damp strands. “I mean, fuck, Kins, what was that back there? I was just trying to help, and now you’re twisting it into me judging you. When have I ever done that to you?”
Kinsley tossed her stuff down on the couch. A small victory, but a victory, nonetheless. She crossed her arms around her chest, staring at me with so much vitriol that it twisted my stomach. How had we gotten here? Only an hour ago, she was soft and satiated in my arms, and I’d almost told her I loved her. And now…only dread filled me as I tried to break the distance between us.
“You wanted to talk, so talk.”
“Not until you understand one thing. I don’t fucking pity you, Kinsley. Never have.”
“Then why make that comment?”
I sighed, running my hand over my face. “Because you hate your job.” She opened her mouth to argue, but I cut her off. “Every time it comes up, you stiffen. You dread going there in the morning, and whenever anyone asks about it, you change the subject. And it fucking kills me.”
“A lot of people hate their jobs.”
“And those people didn’t have to give up their dreams to raise our daughter.” Dark eyes flashed to mine. “You think I haven’t noticed the stack of LSAT books in your bedroom closet? They might have gathered dust, but you never got rid of them, like you’re just waiting for the chance to pick them up again.”
She shook her head. “It’s not like that.”
“Then tell me, Kins.” I pounded on my chest. “Let me fucking in. I’m trying to be here for you—build a goddamn life with you.Please, baby. Please let me in.”
“What do you want me to say, Jace? That I still wonder if I have what it takes? Of course I do. I’ve dreamed about being a lawyer for years. But…”
“But what?”
She shook her head, retreating further into herself. “Not all dreams come true.”
It might have been the defeat in her voice, the slight tremble that broke through, despite her best defenses. It killed me, stuck a knife right in the center of my chest. Moving closer, I reached out and offered her my hand, letting her decide if she wanted to close the gap between us. She stared down at my fingers, debating whether to take the chance. When she slid her palm into mine, relief crashed through me, finally able to breathe now that she wasn’t running.
“I can’t, Jace. I can’t go down that road again. Can’t let you take care of me. Because if it doesn’t work out…” Her voice broke. “It’s not worth the risk.”
I pulled her into my chest, crushing her into a tight hug. As soon as she collided with me, Kinsley broke, her tears coming out of her in crushing waves. Her fingers dug into my back, holding me like an anchor. And fuck, I liked being that for her. I wanted to hold the weight of her world when it became too heavy.
