West’s condo is in the ritzy part of downtown Seattle, near Pike Place, meaning it isn’t the ideal location to raise Charlie.But the alternative—and where we lived up until moving in with him—causes my heart to race and my breath to go shallow.
Taxis, Ubers, and bikes occupy the street. People flood the sidewalks in packs. At this time of the day, most are heading to dinner or the local bars. I squeeze Charlie’s shoulder to keep her close until I finally spot our Uber.
“There’s ours.” I point and nudge her. “C’mon, get your suitcase.”
The driver tosses our luggage into his compact SUV, and Charlie and I climb into the back seat. She looks out the window and is quiet. It’s painful how I already notice her struggle with anxiety. She’s younger than her father was the first time I comforted him during a panic attack.
My phone buzzes in my hand.
Stella
Can’t wait to see you!
Me too! But we’ll be there late
Maybe we should get a hotel tonight?
Stella
I’ll be awake
Come by and you can pick up the keys to Dottie’s cottage
I went by there earlier and stocked the fridge with a few things I thought you and Charlotte might need
My shoulders tense. I glance at Charlie and catch her chewing on the string from her hoodie. I tug it out of her mouth, and she scowls at me but doesn’t protest.
“Hey, wanna look at pictures of Grandma Dottie’s cottage again?”
She nods. “Is it really on the beach?”
“It’s just a short walk. You can see the waves from her front deck.”
She smiles wide, showing off her newly toothless grin. During the last week, she lost both front teeth. “Is the water cold?”
“It shouldn’t be too cold this time of year. Not like when we went to Long Beach.”
“Brr.” She shivers at the memory.
That was the last full day West spent with us. He let his brother handle the business for their finance company for the day. He arranged everything. Even remembered to bring sand toys for Charlotte. We collected sand dollars and ate fish and chips in town. West let Charlie fill a paper bag with all the saltwater taffy she could fit.
We had needed a day like that. I’d been questioning where our relationship stood and where it was headed. And he rose to the challenge and showed us we were a priority. The next night he took me to a fancy restaurant downtown and proposed. I said yes.
I open my photos app on my phone and find the album I labeled “Grandma Dottie” and hand it to Charlie. After I received word my grandmother had a stroke, I started compiling all my photos of her and her cottage in California. Not just for me, but for Charlie too.
Seeing where we’re headed will hopefully calm her nerves. But it’s not just where we’re going that’s got her anxious. She’s about to meet a lot of new people for the first time. Including her father.
She just doesn’t know it yet.
My chest aches with heaviness from this secret I’ve been holding in for far too long. I lean closer to Charlie and push her hair out of her face, resting my head against hers. “Let me look with you,” I whisper.
I want to soak up these last moments where it’s just Charlie and me—before I rock her entire world.
2
BECK
“You know it’s perfect,” Milo states, stepping back and observing the freshly painted siding as the sun lowers behind Dottie’s cottage.
