“Emma in my class, she’s really good. Miss Owens hung her art on the wall in the hallway. But not mine.”
A wave of defensiveness rises in me at the sadness in her tone. Beck whips his head in my direction and gives me a look like,what the hell?
Turning back to her he says, “Well, I’ll tell you what. If you finish coloring that before we’re done with dinner, I’ll hang it in my truck. That’s way better than some silly hallway.”
Her grin is huge, lighting up her light brown eyes. “Really? Thanks, Daddy.”
His lips twitch and his eyes flicker to me. My stupid heart spasms in my chest. It’s only a moment, a blip of a moment, but it’s one I’m bottling up to hold on to for safe keeping.
A server swings by our table and interrupts, which is probably best. We order a cheese pizza for Charlie and a gluten free crust pizza for me and Beck to share. Beck and Charlie get lemonade. After the margaritas the night before, I stick with water.
Beck tries to keep the conversation going with Charlie and I try not to butt in. I could sing her praises forever, tell him everything about her, show him all the photo albums of her on my phone, but I want their relationship to form as organically as possible. I already took so much from them both.
I slip my phone from my purse and text West. Maybe it’s out of guilt because I’m spending time with Beck or maybe it’s guilt because I haven’t told him about Charlie meeting her father. But I will owe him an explanation. Eventually.
Hey, what happened to you last night? I thought we were going to FaceTime
West
Sorry, sweetie. I got tied up at the office. Raincheck?
Sure
West
Tonight?
After I get Charlie to bed?
West
Works for me. I miss you!
Miss you too
Genuinely I do. West has been the only man since Beck that I’ve trusted with my heart. When I agreed to date him, it was a big deal. And when he asked me and Charlie to move in, I spent a month contemplating it. Yet, when he proposed, it was an instant yes. Maybe that decision had been easy because Charlie loves him. Or maybe I figured if I couldn’t make it work with him, I couldn’t make it work with anyone.
West is also the only other man I’ve slept with besides Beck. With Beck, it was safe. He made me feel safe. Even though I hadn’t been diagnosed with endometriosis yet, based on my symptoms, we assumed. But he knew sex was often uncomfortable for me or even painful. But he was patient with me. We talked through it together, there was plenty of trial and error, until we learned what positions were more enjoyable. He always made sure I was okay.
Sex with West is…difficult. While he’s gentle and tolerant, he’s usually more interested in getting off rather than assuring I’m comfortable. I guess I’ve concluded that it’s something that will be more painful rather than pleasureful. Even if I do experience an orgasm, it sometimes leaves me with a throbbing ache afterward while he’s already snoring.
“Ready to go?” Beck asks, standing next to the table and gazing down at me.
I blink up at him for a second before hurrying to scoot out of the booth, and a sharp pain stabs into my lower stomach. I pinch my eyes shut and hold my breath until it passes.
There’s a light graze of his calloused palm against my bare forearm. “Hey, you all right?”
Steadying my footing, I flutter my eyes open and find Beck’s face close to mine. I exhale and force a strained smile, reaching for my purse from off the bench. “I’m fine.”
Instead of forcing the subject, he takes my word for it and leaves me to tend to Charlie. I follow behind them, the earlier feeling of being the third wheel tonight cemented when I see Beck’s large hand tethered to Charlie’s small one.
Once we’re back at Dottie’s, Beck takes Charlie’s booster out of the back seat and sets it just inside the house once I’ve unlocked the door.
“Well,” he says, rising up on the balls of his feet and shoving his hands in his front pockets. “I hope you had a good time tonight, Charlie.”
“I did. It was fun.” She hugs his waist, and he removes one hand from his pocket to wrap around her from the side. “Thanks for the pizza.”
“You’re welcome. Maybe I can swing by tomorrow night and we could play a game or something?”
